My First Cigarette

I saw you from across the room, Friends dropped your name before. I wasn't sure if it was too soon, To make my way to the floor. Nerves, perhaps, kept me still, Opportunity filled my eyes. A secret spilled, a void to fill, You played tricks on my mind. I'd imagined before just how it felt, My fingers on your body. Would it make me cry or make me melt? Was it bad if someone caught me? A spark turns into a burning flame, Your scent was overwhelming. It wasn't right, was I to blame? Expectations, they had failed me. I ask myself after eight long years, Why I've stood by your side? Despite the sickness and the tears, You've never been denied. You've overstayed your welcome, Just go about your way. I hear the bells and funeral drums, Only one of us can stay.