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My Darling Premiere Contest Winner

i do not wish to keep observing but art as captivating as you stays in my mind at all hours of the day and well into the night it hurts to breathe when all i think of are your chiseled edges so smooth they dance in the light, and the horrifying stillness of your figure, stuck in time however, i will face the pain for i get to watch you thrive in the gentle bursts of sun that shine only so you may move as you please you have invaded my mind with your words, carved before your feet with meaning given to you by prophets themselves and yet you stand, blissfully unaware, of the way those engraved remarks echo in my ears and fill my lungs with hope your hair and smile, that have been blessed by the gods above and crafted with such a beautiful image in mind, cause me to dream of a reference, a muse, well beyond my mortal understanding the feeling of your body in my hands is a hallucination so surreal that it may as well be as dead as the stars i wish upon when i ask them to bring you to me my heart can only break and weep so many times before it gives up, but you, my darling, have mended it so many times by presence alone, that i fear for when you do not wish to see me but i guess that is something i will never truly have to worry about i will be long gone, turned to ash and dust, and remembered as a fool with a heart of false hope, by the time your marble bones begin to crumble, won’t i, darling? until then i will stop by and visit till i am confined to my bed with brittle bones that ache and skin that tears at a tug even then, i will see you in my dreams and in the stars until then, my darling, until then.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2023




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Date: 11/26/2023 12:13:00 PM
Congrats on your win and the top prize too!! Very well written and so unique in content!! Gives a different angle to the theme! Love it! Well done!
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Lauren Kleynenberg
Date: 11/27/2023 9:32:00 AM
Thank you! I had a couple of ideas on how to interpret the prompt, but I am very happy with how this turned out. :)
Date: 11/26/2023 11:08:00 AM
This poem resonates with me on so many levels. What a touching and soulful poem this is . And the way you’ve phrased your emotions is so moving. I especially loved “ i will be long gone, turned to ash and dust, and remembered as a fool with a heart of false hope” i feel the same. Ah its an absolute pleasure getting to read this. And i can see why this is a trophy winner. Congratulations. Well deserved really. A fave from me too
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Lauren Kleynenberg
Date: 11/27/2023 9:33:00 AM
Thank you! I'm glad that you enjoyed reading it. To be honest, I rewrote that line a couple of times, but I'm glad you like the way it turned out. <3
Date: 11/26/2023 6:33:00 AM
Oh, Lauren - this piece reads like an absolute love letter to art, or to its intended. It is such an honest and urgent undertaking of the prompt, and the intelligence of its construction rewards the audience with new turns of thought on every read. It has the especially unique quality of feeling both personal and universal - Breathtaking entry.
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Lauren Kleynenberg
Date: 11/27/2023 9:30:00 AM
Your words are too kind!! Thank you for taking the time to read my poem, and I truly appreciate your thoughts. <3
Date: 11/8/2023 6:43:00 AM
Thanks for sharing this... exposing your thoughts through your unique poetic style. Welcome to Poetry Soup. I welcome you with the love of the Lord, expressed by John 3:16 of the Bible, "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." Be blessed.
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Lauren Kleynenberg
Date: 11/27/2023 9:28:00 AM
Thank you for the welcome! :)
Date: 11/6/2023 7:01:00 PM
Sad poem, but kept my attention right to the end
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Lauren Kleynenberg
Date: 11/27/2023 9:28:00 AM
Thank you for taking the time to read it!

Book: Shattered Sighs