My Dark Secret a Confession

Always wanted to know what it was like to be a woman
so I bought myself two small melons a wig and a bra.
ooh my back was aching within an hour.

I bought a lovely dress from walmart
pantyhose and a handbag from a bizarre
I tried on a pair of woman's nickers
but they were too small by far.

I bought a pair of red stilettos 
how the hell do you walk in them
I decided the dress was too long
and took up the hem

Trying to walk in my shoes
was like trying to walk on the moon
I was wobbling all over the place

Finding a bra that fit was a nightmare
and really nipped
I painted my face with make up
and put lipstick on my lips.

I looked in the mirror
and I must admit
I looked gorgeous
So I put a photo on face book
and got over a million instant hits
from men, maybe I shouldn't have took up that hem

People treated me differently
and politely opened with a smile
I got a dozen wolf whistles or more

Then something terrible happened
I was stood by the roadside waiting
for a taxi I must have been stood in the wrong place 
never been their before
I was arrested by the law

I had a lot of explaining to do
but the judge was really nice
and winked at me once or twice

So I decided to hung up my handbag and my bra
I had really learned my lesson
it was much easier to be a man than A woman by far.

Peter Dome. copyright.2012.

funnymefree verse

♡Like0

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.