My Dark Secret a Confession

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Outfit for sale, worn once, free cheese grater.

Always wanted to know what it was like to be a woman
so I bought myself two small melons a wig and a bra.
ooh my back was aching within an hour.

I bought a lovely dress from walmart
pantyhose and a handbag from a bizarre
I tried on a pair of woman's nickers
but they were too small by far.

I bought a pair of red stilettos 
how the hell do you walk in them
I decided the dress was too long
and took up the hem

Trying to walk in my shoes
was like trying to walk on the moon
I was wobbling all over the place

Finding a bra that fit was a nightmare
and really nipped
I painted my face with make up
and put lipstick on my lips.

I looked in the mirror
and I must admit
I looked gorgeous
So I put a photo on face book
and got over a million instant hits
from men, maybe I shouldn't have took up that hem

People treated me differently
and politely opened with a smile
I got a dozen wolf whistles or more

Then something terrible happened
I was stood by the roadside waiting
for a taxi I must have been stood in the wrong place 
never been their before
I was arrested by the law

I had a lot of explaining to do
but the judge was really nice
and winked at me once or twice

So I decided to hung up my handbag and my bra
I had really learned my lesson
it was much easier to be a man than A woman by far.

Peter Dome. copyright.2012.

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