My Confrusion

My mind is dead,my heart is cold i feel like theirs a demon inside me that i cant control ,I blank out at times and waking up god knows where,showing my feelings are very rare i feel dead but yet i am still here I feel alone in this world no mom or dad with happy memories to share I gave them up along time ago my love is like i cant trust any one because i always get stabbed in the back my mind is racing my heart is hating my life can you see the pain in my eye that im trying so hard to hide im scared to let family in side of my life i tried before and it back fire i cant depend on no one accept myself because to me that is way to difficult im tiered of looking in the marrior and just seeing a monster im tiered of being alone i wanna be any where but a place called home its like weed is my only doctor but i know its hurting me can some one help can some one tell me whats wrong with my self By jayson Gargiulo