My Confined Mind

Untamed self control my own worst enemy I can be I can not be the poison and the remedy The voices I hear are not in my head I hear the words as if they’ve been said. Horrific thoughts I must endure Collective voices worse than before The madness escalates, reducing me to an unbalanced state A break mentally so much others can not relate Psychotic attack or psychotic illusion Is it reality or is it a delusion? Derogatory constant running commentary Over thinking causing chaos; corrupting my mind No escape nor shred of peace can I find The voices I hear don’t stop they don’t give in, Continuously ranting of dishonourable sin I attempt to deter from mental confusions Medically my thoughts are seen as delusions At the time I'm not convinced I'm deluded Convinced by distorted reality I've concluded Distorted assumptions that I have concocted -now real Escalated with time a darkness clouds how I feel Negativity takes over positive thoughts Hearing uttering of endless hurtful talk Resulting in what I hear as being true Suspicions conspire then conclusions are drew Hateful words; closer louder unable to ignore Detachment from any logical thought From the derogatory talk I hear is believed Its how I am seen its how I am perceived Over thinking causing chaos corrupting my mind Peace & positivity I can not find Voices persecuting me to such an extent Relentless and nasty horrid content…. Like on repeat although the night I hear them talking but there out of sight Surely they must tyre of slagging me off Nasty unimaginative hateful lot Voices of those that I know and those I am close too; My mental state decreases concluding its true Every emotion dark with dread and fear Panic derived from all that I hear I cant shut it out all of the time I take it all in Persecuted of every action I do, I cant win Unable to recall past psychotic occurrences No deterrent from the cognitive disturbances The voices never stop they don’t go away With given time I’ll believe what they say Whether it be a regrettable act or gossips fabricated lies All of my self worth and confidence dies Auditory hallucinations not willing to stop All reasoning fact and logic forgot Blinds my judgement and ability to see harrowing Paranoia descends to reality Hearing the conversations and ruthless content Persecuting me to such an extent Medically my thoughts are seen as delusions I attempt to deter from mental confusions Panic, detached irrational thought assumptions Loss of control and distraught When the worst of the worst is easing Confusion remains I question was it real or am I insane I know now what I thought was deluded I cant believe what I've previously concluded At the time what I thought was real Inability to control how I feel Disbelief descends when delusions ease relief then comes from what I previously perceived.