My Boyfriend Found This Cat

My boyfriend found this cat Grey whiskers, beady eyes, and a small scraggily body. We’d been dating for two years. Met at a little coffee shop right down the street. “Isn’t he adorable?” He cheerily greeted me. That’s when I coughed, I sneezed, I wheezed. Full of allergies. My throat seized up. Hospital bills piled up. I told him it was either me or the cat. Then my bags were all packed. My next boyfriend found this dog. Pointed nose, hairy whiskers, black eyes, and a fat body. We’d been dating not really long. Met at my ex’s coffee shop. “Isn’t he just the cutest!” He crooned to me. That’s when he snarled. Sharp teeth and all. Then with a pounce, a wince, and a cry My arm was scratched. The Doctor told me it was actually a Mexican rat. And my boyfriend was partially blind. I told him it was me or the rat. Then my bags were all packed. My mother found this bird. Ruffled feathers, tiny eyes, and with a screeching voice. I’d been living with her for a month. We met at a family reunion in the coffee shop. “Isn’t her voice the prettiest?” She sang. Then with a torturous squawk, and a loud crack. Our crystal chandelier came crashing down. With a dozen stitches. And even more bandages. The doctor told me it would take forever to heal. I told my mom it’s me or the bird. Then I was booted to the curb.