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Muthoni - From Kenya

We used to wait outside at the girls rooming house by the Ohio in Cincinnati Sex does not self heal Nor does the salamander we trapped under the moss We always said We'd die together At daybreak We knew better Love does not always fill the heart On rainy nights It kills the heart The noon at the clinic shall remain our secret The long recovery Bittersweet We woke this morning To our failed romance Your boyfriend from Somalia He was right Some women are exotic Like goldfish only less slippery Always out of reach

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Michael Vacek

Date: 8/1/2017 3:43:00 PM

Your 3rd and 7th stanza could almost stand alone. They were the parts that made me think and hit me on the heart level. I have found that writing in the 3rd person (without I, me, my or us, we, our) opens the poem up to the reader, allowing the reader to insert themselves. I will use the plural first person if I am making reference to the collective all (everyone) Keep up the good work!

Darren White

Date: 7/5/2017 3:33:00 AM

This is Free Verse. And it is simply beautiful, you can write. Your last stanza is a real gem... Welcome to PoetrySoup :P)

M Braimah Saaka
Date: 7/5/2017 10:18:00 AM

Thanks!