Mothers Pride
Mothers pride.
Part one.
"He never sees the light of day
Or ever cuts the grass,
He lies in bed all day
Or just sits on his fat ****."
"The toilet seat is never down
He misses the damn bowl,
Is up for half the night
On that bloody games console."
"He says" "This is my holiday"
"As he awaits results,
But I am sick fed up
Of all that boys insults."
"You will have to have a word
He is your son as well,
Tell him please to wash
The little bugger smells."
"There are dirty plates too many
And cans beneath his bed,
The room is just a tip
And he thinks the Hoovers dead."
"I am fed up with his laundry
My handle has just flew
You should count the T-shirts
The little git goes through."
"He never eats his meals
No matter what I cook
And if I tell him off
He just gives me that strange look."
"Enough it is enough
It is no longer funny
He thinks we have a tree
That provides us all with money."
"It is time he got a job
Just like all his buddies,
Instead of spouting Bull
He needs this time to study."
Part two.
My results they all are in
And I have done quite well,
Mothers on the phone right now
She has everyone to tell.
So it is that my hard work
Has got me into collage
I"ll soon be on my way
To gather up more knowledge.
For I am Glasgow bound
I leave home in September,
I really cannot wait
To become a student union member.
All the family they all know
So do all our friends
My hard work really was worthwhile
A means towards my end
Part three.
We sit alone together
A silence both agree,
Then Mother starts to cry
Claims she will miss me.
No more toothpaste top left off
Wet towels upon the floor
The naughty calendar
The one I just adore
Pinching Fathers beer
The windows always closed
Soft **** on the door
With all that flesh exposed.
Never making beds
And all those dirty books
Spending all that money
To enhance my macho looks.
Never doing chores
And all my moans and groans
Always wanting money
For top ups for my phone.
Then how proud she is
Of her boy who"s now a man
And she is so convinced
I have a five year plan.
My stomach does a turn
My balls are in a press
My throat is kinda dry
I"m in a full distress.
The penny it has dropped
Dropped right in my cup,
This boy has joined the ranks
Of those who must grow up!
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