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Mother, I

I am walking on the path between flowerbeds
where the flowers the mother cared and grew 
for the daughter whom she loved are now in full bloom

O dear mother, the elegance of the flowers is your graceful image
O dear mother, the scent of the flowers is your beautiful nature

I am standing in the midst of the valley
where your mind flows as a stream of tears

When I, the little girl who learned how to spell a word mother
and showed it to you with a great pride though it was written 
on the paper with poor hand, was molested by a sorceress of darkness,
and therefore, confined to bed with burning lips, 
sweats on the forehead, and holding the air tightly in the small fist,
you were knelt, held on the hem of the wicked and ugly sorceress, and begged with tears, “For I ask you, please don’t torture my little girl any more. For I kneel and beg of you, please don’t take my child away from me”

I am standing in the plain of mother’s sorrowful mind
where your daughter’s name echoes in darkness

One day, at time of my junior year in the high school, I ran away 
from home, I ran away annoyed by my own wrong doing that was
pointed out by you, and therefore, got grounded

In that day, I was foolish enough to think that everything 
that expanded in front of my eyes should be for my favor, and therefore, 
I was fascinated by a warm spring day’s shimmering air floating on distant mound,  flew away dancing in the air like a butterfly, which charmed by the colorful flowers, overcame with their sweet nectar 

And that day, however, as your call dwindled,
the darkness deepened, and darkness deepens;
I was frightened more and more. As your voice diminished, 
I felt lonesome all the more. And for darkness and the loneliness 
turned into the anguish that of more than I can bear, dragging weary feet, 
I returned home with a heavy heart

Nevertheless, you embraced me in your bosom and said
“Not you but your mother was the one to be blamed 
for all these troubles, it was not you but I made 
my poor daughter angry”

You are tapping my soul’s window that is fixed fast
since you gone to the world beyond. You are knocking 
at my mind’s door that is closed tightly since you returned 
to the home in better land

After all, you came deeply in my heart through the gap 
split open in the soul’s window. After all, you entered 
in my heart of hearts through the crack broke open 
in the mind’s door and, now, you are caressing my aching heart 
with tender and loving care

Copyright © Su Ben | Year Posted 2015

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