mosaic
i am nothing mere of a mosaic
a broken frame
of what should remain
a whole personality
but it split
and caused me great chaos
i am a mosaic that nobody can piece together
i am a mosaic with random bits scattered across the ground
as i try to pick up all the pieces,
they crack apart and split,
i cannot remember where they went,
i hold the mosaic in my fragile hands,
waiting for someone to help me piece myself together.
i do not possess the words in my mouth
yet they pour out like an open stream
the clothes i am wearing do not remind me of myself
and i cannot remember dressing myself in them
a blurry capture of time that i cannot recall
and then i blink
the world had shifted,
and now time slips through my fingers,
like a pit of sand.
these "people".. are just me in different fonts,
they dont sound like me
or remind myself of me
instead of a thought stemmed from somewhere deep inside
but they are me.
a fancy label will be slapped onto my record with permanence
"other specified dissociative disorder",
that label undermines my experiences,
it makes me seem insane
the label will exploit my time
and now ill be forever misunderstood.
my memories are nothing more than
dusty photographs you have lying in a box
and cannot seem to recall or get a grasp of them.
i am a passenger to a full van,
sometimes i am the driver of this van,
but most days i am a passenger,
watching through foggy,
stained windows --
trapped in a jail cell called my head.
in my mind i remain a child
i will be stuck a child
as other bits and parts of me fragment
begin to split,
and become older than my body
i cannot grasp onto one identity for long,
i dont know myself, and in the end
i never will.
reuploaded because i didnt like the original one
Copyright © kayden heh | Year Posted 2025
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