mosaic

i am nothing mere of a mosaic a broken frame of what should remain a whole personality but it split and caused me great chaos i am a mosaic that nobody can piece together i am a mosaic with random bits scattered across the ground as i try to pick up all the pieces, they crack apart and split, i cannot remember where they went, i hold the mosaic in my fragile hands, waiting for someone to help me piece myself together. i do not possess the words in my mouth yet they pour out like an open stream the clothes i am wearing do not remind me of myself and i cannot remember dressing myself in them a blurry capture of time that i cannot recall and then i blink the world had shifted, and now time slips through my fingers, like a pit of sand. these "people".. are just me in different fonts, they dont sound like me or remind myself of me instead of a thought stemmed from somewhere deep inside but they are me. a fancy label will be slapped onto my record with permanence "other specified dissociative disorder", that label undermines my experiences, it makes me seem insane the label will exploit my time and now ill be forever misunderstood. my memories are nothing more than dusty photographs you have lying in a box and cannot seem to recall or get a grasp of them. i am a passenger to a full van, sometimes i am the driver of this van, but most days i am a passenger, watching through foggy, stained windows -- trapped in a jail cell called my head. in my mind i remain a child i will be stuck a child as other bits and parts of me fragment begin to split, and become older than my body i cannot grasp onto one identity for long, i dont know myself, and in the end i never will. reuploaded because i didnt like the original one