Home » Poems » Caycay Jennings » More Worse When I Cry

More Worse When I Cry

(note: picture is essential to the poem) Teacher said my decisions needed consequences. I have to write a million gazillion sorry sentences. Billy was stupid to tease me, call my family poor. I had to kick Billy so he wouldn’t say it more. Just like Dad does, I laughed when he hit the floor. Dad would say I was strong, teach says I was wrong. I don’t understand any grown up stuff. They don’t act the same way enough, or Dad is right; I’m so stupid, I can’t keep up. I’m trying so hard to stop my eyes. Things always get more worse when I cry. Even when I’m quiet and being haved my tummy hurts cause it feels afraid. Everyone’s at recess, but cause I made an upset, Teach said there’d be no play time for me yet. I don’t know what she means by classroom policy, but it seems like a plan you grow up and forget. There’s no sorry policy in my family. Dad never 'pologizes when he kicks me. November 23, 2017

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Krish Radhakrishna

Date: 5/9/2020 12:34:00 AM

Congrats on POTD! This poem is brilliant and so very relevant to many children who use their parents as role models and learn the concept of right and wrong from them. Great work!

Leanne Lovejoy-Burton

Date: 3/4/2018 2:21:00 PM

Beautiful....and sad. Is that your child Cay Cay? Sending love and GOOD karma and joy.

Caycay Jennings
Date: 3/4/2018 4:24:00 PM

No, someone sponsored a contest that requested a poem be written based on that picture and wherever it took one's muse. Good to see you here. Take care ... CayCay

Kathy Camacho

Date: 12/14/2017 7:41:00 AM

The raw simplicity and the sadness of this poem moved me.

John Hamilton

Date: 12/5/2017 11:48:00 AM

First congrats on winning the contest, and POTD, I know I'm late but it's sincere. I was going to comment on the bad grammar, but I realized (after reading) that you are speaking the boys thoughts and that is brilliant writing in a childlike way in this case is amazing, no fear, just great Cay Cay, I was called stupid all the time as a child, very hurtful!

Caycay Jennings
Date: 12/6/2017 9:16:00 PM

I love sincere, it is why I'm here, and probably you, too. I appreciate your honesty about the grammar - I wondered how it would go over, but decided it was the best way to present emotion. My parents never said, 'stupid', but I felt it inferred often enough. Any confidence I have was slow grown and realized. You are talented, capable - so I'm sure you grew yours someway, somehow. Thanks & poetry hugs ... CayCay

Sandra Haight

Date: 12/5/2017 8:43:00 AM

Wow, CayCay, you really touched my heart with this one...how sad, but how wonderfully written with so much emotion. Congratulations on your placement in the contest and your POTD honor! Hugs, Sandra

Caycay Jennings
Date: 12/6/2017 9:08:00 PM

Sandra! Hey, there. It is my joy to touch your heart. I wish there were somewhere, some place that this poem could make an actual difference. All the best ... CayCay

John Gondolf

Date: 12/4/2017 12:06:00 PM

CayCay, this is such an emotional poem. I know this sort of thing happens every day but it is just so hard for me to imagine any parent doing this to their child. Congrats on your 1st place and congrats on POTD. John

Caycay Jennings
Date: 12/6/2017 9:07:00 PM

All abuse makes me cry, none of it is right or less than horrific. Child abuse pangs us all more because children are so innocent, they don't know what love should look like. Thanks for reading and commenting, John. Poetry hugs ... CayCay

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 12/3/2017 4:05:00 PM

I read it!! What you said, Back at ya.

Susan Ashley

Date: 12/3/2017 4:05:00 PM

CayCay, returning with congratulations on your top placement in the contest with this powerful and heartbreaking write. Blessings and hugs to you ~Susan

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 12/3/2017 4:05:00 PM

thanks for reading so many of my poems, Caycay. Let me find a few of yours as I wade my way through comments. haha. I hope you have at least a few new ones for me to see!

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 12/2/2017 8:22:00 PM

wow, Caycay, this is SO good, my dear. I chose this picture but for a different reason. I just love how you made this so real and all about the way he is feeling. you made such a great story of it, a fave.

Caycay Jennings
Date: 12/2/2017 8:35:00 PM

Hey, sweetheart - oh, I just remembered you'll probably never read this box and so we have, silence. I'll just send you love, you don't need to read to receive love! Big dose ... CayCay

Rhoda Tripp

Date: 12/2/2017 6:21:00 PM

Congratulations, Caycay on your win! Very much deserved. I remember, shortly after I submitted my poem for the contest, I read yours and was blown away and instantly knew yours was a winner. It is creatively written and has a great message. Again, Congratulations and yes, of course, feel free to soup mail me.

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 12/2/2017 4:51:00 PM

Yay! I am so happy for you CayCay! Back to congratulate you on your wonderful First Place win! : )

Connie Marcum Wong
Date: 4/24/2019 5:00:00 PM

I am pretty sure I didn't invent Wowza but I'm glad it made you laugh. : ) xxoo

Caycay Jennings
Date: 12/2/2017 6:58:00 PM

Hey, you recently cracked me up, how I laughed when I saw you had written, "Wowza" - I love Wowza, can we make that a thing? Is it already someone else's thing? Thank you for you! Love and more ... CayCay

Eve Roper

Date: 12/2/2017 3:39:00 PM

1st I want to thank you for entering my contest , CayCay, your imagery and flow of words is wonderful you brought back a few memories . 2. Congratulations on POTD! , and 3rd Congratulations on your win! Hugs Eve ~`*

Caycay Jennings
Date: 12/2/2017 8:32:00 PM

I thought my Dad thought me stupid which was horrible enough. So sorry, Eve. You and I dwell in a special olympics world many never witness, you and I know there is no stupid. I'm sure both our Dads did their human and loving best, it is just such an impactful position in a child's life, decades cannot erase a Dad mark. I'm feeling you and offering hugs ... CayCay

Eve Roper
Date: 12/2/2017 7:32:00 PM

Thank you :') My dad use to call me stupid growing up that is a word I dislike anyone calling someone else, no one is stupid.

Caycay Jennings
Date: 12/2/2017 6:41:00 PM

Honey, I am horrified if this poem brought back memories for you. Please say I didn't understand your meaning! Also, I thought I had to call my brave boy, "PhotoStory 2" per the directions and now I see I mis-read that 'my' precious child could be sitting beneath a fitting title (OZ - "If I only had a brain, I ....") So, talk u to me. Eve, I also grow from your contests', love your criteria's, the challenges, they are light vs. other, but most serious poetry; ergo, you, Eve are a gift to me and Soup. Blessings! CayCay

Gregory Richard Barden

Date: 12/1/2017 9:04:00 PM

:-( This is a wonderful write, CayCay, and far more common than most people realize, sadly ... the more attention brought to this issue, the better, and I thank you for doing so in such a beautifully creative and hard0hitting way. Blessings, and congrats on number five BNP!! Keep climbing! :-) <3

Connie Marcum Wong

Date: 11/30/2017 8:09:00 PM

Wowza! What a great poem CayCay! Breaks my heart to think about such abuse. I am so happy to see it honored with POTD! Big Congratulations my friend! : )

Charlie Smith

Date: 11/30/2017 9:09:00 AM

Wow! You captured that photo brilliantly CayCay, congratulations also for POTD honors...

Jannie Breedt

Date: 11/28/2017 11:10:00 PM

Belatedly I congratulate you too. Your moving poem bring back memories. So well expressed from a childs point of view. Your perceptions are always so good.

Darlene De Beaulieu

Date: 11/28/2017 7:47:00 PM

Your poem tells a story in a poem. I like that. I enjoyed your poem.Cay Cay have a nice evening my friend.

Alexis Y.

Date: 11/26/2017 11:24:00 PM

Hi CayCay, It was hard to read this one. It hit home and I got real emotional reading it. My heart goes to the boy in this story and for others like him. Abuse to a child in any form is never ok. Congratulations on getting the poem of the day. It was well deserved- Alexis

Vijay Pandit

Date: 11/26/2017 6:21:00 AM

A loving depiction of the child's inner thoughts--well deserved POTD recognition--congrats CayCay!

Lin Lane

Date: 11/26/2017 4:18:00 AM

The bond of friendship you two shared was a gift to both of you. Your heart grieves but beautiful memories will always be with you, T. j.

Hannah Borke

Date: 11/26/2017 1:36:00 AM

Brilliant poem! I'm getting a special 'kick', because one of my children once argued, "I'm being having!"

Caycay Jennings
Date: 12/1/2017 10:12:00 PM

Hannah - I had to laugh, I got the line "I am being haved" from a girlfriend's small child. It was many years ago, but I have never forgotten hearing her say that - had no idea I'd ever incorporate it into a poem. Whatever age this child of yours is now, he or she is very witty! Thank you for reading and commenting. Go in a good way ... CayCay

Anne-Lise Andresen

Date: 11/25/2017 3:00:00 PM

- Congratulations on your p.o.t.d. CayCay - A beautifully described picture :) - hugs // Anne-Lise :)

Susan Ashley

Date: 11/25/2017 12:26:00 PM

CayCay, returning to offer my congratulations on POTD honors for your powerful, emotional and intimate write highlighting childhood abuse. Spotlight poetry shining at its brightest. Hugs to you..

Caycay Jennings
Date: 11/25/2017 12:35:00 PM

Thank you, appreciate you and I'll leave you with a hug ... CayCay

Rhoda Tripp

Date: 11/25/2017 12:22:00 PM

Awww...CayCay. This poem is so rich in emotion. You accurately used words that a child would use in conversation of thought. Unfortunately, this type of abuse you mention happens too often. This is a great write to evoke awareness and change.

Caycay Jennings
Date: 11/25/2017 12:46:00 PM

His little face in the picture prompt conveyed sadness and a sense of loss that took my muse in this direction; an emotional direction that I wish we could universally direct towards 'gone.' I appreciate your emotion and thank you for your comments. All the best ... CayCay