More Or Less Broken

Ignorance is...

                                                         anxiety
                                                    depression
                                                       brain fog
                                                          vertigo
                                                      irritability
                                                    impulsivity  
                                                          fatigue
                                              light sensitivity
                                             noise sensitivity
                     and a plague of hair-trigger rage

                                                       isolation


...not knowing.

              Until another hit has you seeing stars

                                         playing characters
                                      with your symptoms
                                      in movies and on TV

                                                  a syndrome 
                                                 with a name

                do you know that you are not crazy.


Knowing is...

                                                           more 
                                            and less broken.






*Post-Concussion Syndrome
Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

Poem

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Lawrence Avatar
May 10, 2019 at 6:26 PM
I do love your insight and soul of wit. One who sees themself so clearly must write. We know it is true.
Pigeon Tart Avatar
May 11, 2019 at 7:59 AM
And here we are :) Thank you so much Kevin, xomo!
Salehi Avatar
March 30, 2019 at 2:32 AM
This is a good reminder that how vulnerable we are...
Pigeon Tart Avatar
March 30, 2019 at 8:19 AM
Thank you Pashang :) xomo
Godwin Avatar
March 29, 2019 at 9:16 PM
Hello, concussion twin. I relate but not to all on the list which doesn't mitigate its truth or creativity one bit. I'm fascinated with the approach - of taking it myself to list ALL the layers of symptoms in a concussion. Bouncing off walls - well, vertigo, a buzz in the head that moves in waves, okay now I'm just rambling - thinking aloud. Glad I clicked on this. Oh, did you ever get debilitating headaches? Thanks for the think via your creativity! CayCay
Pigeon Tart Avatar
March 29, 2019 at 9:53 PM
Oh dear twin! This is a bit of a rambling piece ;) Thankfully, no, I don't get the headaches, I count my lucky stars (I sure have seen enough of them). I think I know that buzz. my weirdest, I get occasional tactile sensory hallucinations, like if water splashes, I'll feel drops hit me, I will feel it, hot or cold, and wet, even though I had no exposed skin. Oh, our funny brains. Thank You CayCay! <3 xomo
Chou Avatar
March 29, 2019 at 10:20 AM
Thanks for writing this powerful poem. I suffer from schizo-affective disorder and it helps me see my illness in a new perspective.
Pigeon Tart Avatar
March 29, 2019 at 12:58 PM
Thank you Jackie, that means a lot. I can only begin to imagine. I wish you ease of being. Take care :) xomo
Mcguire Avatar
March 26, 2019 at 5:12 PM
Wonderful Maureen, well written and I love the physical aspects of your poem, not laid out neat in straight lines. Makes me desire the next line and work to find it!
Pigeon Tart Avatar
March 27, 2019 at 7:04 AM
Thank you Timothy! :) xomo
Ellison Avatar
March 26, 2019 at 10:53 AM
WOW!!! I'm here to help... what can I do? Just let me know, dear Miss Mo! Love, Happy Jack XOX
Pigeon Tart Avatar
March 26, 2019 at 11:54 AM
Thank you Jack, you do help, you have helped; before I found soup I had pretty much closed myself off from the world, looking forward to greeting you every morning helped me reconnect. Love & Hugs <3 xomo
Trifiatis Avatar
March 26, 2019 at 7:56 AM
A perfect analysis of a diagnosis dearest, Maureen! Hugs xxx
Pigeon Tart Avatar
March 26, 2019 at 10:05 AM
Thank you my dear Demetrios, love & hugs, xomo
Connelly Avatar
March 25, 2019 at 11:59 PM
Very powerful Maureen. Actually I am crazy but they don't want to name it. But then aren't we all a bit? Some more. Some less. But I also don't have to deal with a woman's hormonal shift. "Gift" is the German word for " poison".
Connelly Avatar
March 26, 2019 at 10:06 AM
Ride the wave Maureen. Never thought I'd wish to have a period periodically. Oh that's right I get to have a mid life crisis.
Pigeon Tart Avatar
March 26, 2019 at 7:38 AM
Thank you Jeff. I'm a few shades of crazy, and predictably so... So looking forward to post estrus sanity... It's happening right now, the hormone flux wreaking havoc with the PCS symptoms, but Oh Yeah! ;)
Vaso Avatar
March 25, 2019 at 11:33 PM
More hugs
Pigeon Tart Avatar
March 26, 2019 at 7:13 AM
Thank you my friend :) xomo <3
Mcferran Avatar
March 25, 2019 at 10:51 PM
A FAV for me, my friend.... this is so TRUE! It's wonderful to hear things like this from others who understand!! ;)
Pigeon Tart Avatar
March 26, 2019 at 7:07 AM
Rhona, I am touched, and (!), that you might know this as well as I do <3 Thank you <3
Krutsinger Avatar
March 25, 2019 at 9:17 PM
A beautiful reminder to us that many are suffering, even if we do not see their suffering first hand; so we need to tread lightly.
Pigeon Tart Avatar
March 26, 2019 at 7:00 AM
Thank you Caren, my own journey has made me particularly empathetic to mental health issues of others, compassion and understanding, everybody deserves. xomo
Sands Avatar
March 25, 2019 at 5:49 PM
Well expressed Maureen. Great one! :)
Pigeon Tart Avatar
March 26, 2019 at 6:55 AM
Thank you Heidi :) xomo!
Leffanta Avatar
March 25, 2019 at 1:19 PM
After I am dead and they see my battered skull, they will be completely mystified as to how I was able to live to such an old age. I am, too, but it results from the patience and understanding of others, so hang in there! Aloha! Rico
Pigeon Tart Avatar
March 25, 2019 at 4:09 PM
Hey! Sign up with me! Donating my brain for CTE study ;) Thank you my friend~ xomo!
Lawless Avatar
March 25, 2019 at 8:24 AM
TBI(Traumatic Brain Injury) the signature debilitating injury of the Iraq/Afghanistan veterans. Unseen and all too often untreated and unrecognized
Pigeon Tart Avatar
March 25, 2019 at 8:49 AM
A huge chunk of the research has come from studies with veterans, I have never been more grateful.
Pandit Avatar
March 25, 2019 at 7:17 AM
You describe it so well..Superbly ended--knowing is more or less broken.
Pigeon Tart Avatar
March 25, 2019 at 8:51 AM
Thank you Vijay :) xomo
Bangalee Avatar
March 25, 2019 at 1:41 AM
praiseworthy thoughtful writings // greatly love it
Pigeon Tart Avatar
March 25, 2019 at 8:53 AM
Thank you Mahtab, xomo :)
Andresen Avatar
March 25, 2019 at 1:39 AM
- A disease that "no one can see" but it takes all the powers of the person suffering ... difficult to live with ... but, there are medications for both anxiety and depression that can make life easier to live - Best wishes and hugs // Anne-Lise :)
Pigeon Tart Avatar
March 25, 2019 at 8:36 AM
Thank you Anne-Lise <3 True, drugs serve the symptoms, I have never been comfortable with idea. Discovering now things like how impaired eye movement causes anxiety, that there are treatments, that diet is key, how hormones affect etc. I have hope now, that makes life easier ;) xomo!
Vaso Avatar
March 25, 2019 at 12:07 AM
I love this poem and so get it!!
Vaso Avatar
March 25, 2019 at 12:07 AM
I have met people like you, with anxiety depression brain fog vertigo irritability impulsivity fatigue they were never ignorant, they were to be hugged! hugs!!!
Pigeon Tart Avatar
March 25, 2019 at 12:15 AM
thank you my friend <3 I was ignorant, true definition of the word, for years that some of my issues were related to the brain injury, or that I could do anything about the ones I knew were; there is so much sanity to be gained with knowing, and understanding. xomo
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