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In England way back in the 18th century
“Pants” was considered a bad word
Probably coz it sounds like heavy breathing
In bedrooms it could often be heard
Ernest Wright once wrote a whole novel
Without using the letter “e”
Here's a question I'd sure like to ask
Which mental institution lives he
In Tennessee it's actually against the law
To drive your car while sleeping
Well how about that my P-Soup friends
But you can with one eye peeping
Columbus' fee for discovering America
Was a paltry three hundred dollar
If that was today for crying out loud
He'd be living in absolute squalor
Hard to believe Baskin Robbins once made
Ketchup flavoured ice cream, holy crap
Needless to say it wasn't too successful
It melted on burgers, imagine that
Your thumb is the same length as you nose
So nosey people have extra long thumbs
That surely explains why you see some people
With their thumb stuck up their bum
Each year Americans eat 12 billion bananas
I eat probably one billion myself
Okay that's quite an erroneous statement
It's french fries that endanger my health
Did you know butterflies taste with their feet
Imagine if us humans did that
Phew! Stinky poo... I'd swear off eating
And be skinny as an underweight gnat
Parrots are as intelligent as a five year old child
Know friends where that surely applies
They have this really overwhelming urge
To poop on your head flying by
© Jack Ellison 2013
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