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Moonwalking Memoirs

I'm the white fog layered on gold-jasmine face of the orange moon, shimmering with shy starships and laced along hailstones of honesty; When the sapphires of earth are etched with orchestral milky beams, smeared with ominous balms, I want you to weave a cherry-crescent with periwinkle dreams and let aqua-pink amulets swing with gossamer threads of lotus-life, which shall pull my sempiternal heartstrings, as frost of the last snow kisses the lunar orchards, twirling upon maroon ruins of moonwalking memories. I'll forever be that silver haze, lingering in your soul's seascapes.

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Valsa George

Date: 12/10/2023 9:51:00 PM

Back to your beautiful poem with Congratulations on your first place win dear Hiya.

Silent One

Date: 12/10/2023 12:05:00 PM

Just returning to congratulate you on your placement in the contest..

Jaymee Thomas

Date: 12/9/2023 8:43:00 AM

You have managed to capture literal celestial beauty with your vivid imagery, all while maintaining the balance of syllables. I particularly enjoyed the combined metaphors of "white fog" on the "gold-jasmine face of the orange moon". It creates such a mesmerizing scene. I find ending a poem very difficult but you managed to deftly tie together all of the complex elements you've undertaken. Overall, this is a captivating exploration of cosmic and emotional landscapes. Brava!

Sotto Poet

Date: 12/9/2023 7:28:00 AM

Dear Hiya, The colors that pour from your words into pools of gorgeous visions captivate me. Your verse is full of wonderful imagery. It's an amazing feast of visuals that will live on in my subconscious long after it's over. Your beautiful imagery and train of thought enthrall me like radiant beams from the crescent moon. Your word choice is superb.

Charlotte Puddifoot

Date: 12/9/2023 4:30:00 AM

i think this fibonacci form really complements your writing, because it is more structured it forces you to pull back slightly on the adjectives..there is a lot of beauty in this - i like 'hailstones of honesty' and 'lunar orchards'...and many thanks for leaving such an in depth, sweet comment on my poetry :)

Sara Kendrick

Date: 12/9/2023 2:28:00 AM

I like the design your words made. A nice composition. Thank you for sharing it with us and for dropping by my page. Sara K

Karen Croft

Date: 12/9/2023 2:14:00 AM

What a beautiful poem!

Bill Baker

Date: 12/8/2023 4:59:00 PM

Lovely imagery in a difficult poetic form, Hiya. You've written a beautiful poem for the contest. my friend. Good luck! Bill

Mystic Rose Rose

Date: 12/8/2023 4:41:00 PM

There is so much color in your poetry Hiya its like a cornucopia of beauty, always on my mind long after the read, :)

Sara Etgen-Baker

Date: 12/8/2023 3:12:00 PM

colorful imagery and beautiful, romantic lines. I liked 'gold-jasmine face of the orange moon.' You have a sincerity and softness that comes through in your tender, poetic voice. Your poem was simply a pleasant read. Grateful. Have a splendid evening, Sara

Sam Kauffman

Date: 12/8/2023 1:56:00 PM

Hiya, I am mesmerized by the colors dripping from your words into pools of stunning images like "shy starships" and "hailstones of honesty!" You have a unique talent for pulling together stunning images from "lunar orchards." The opening lines drip with your creativity. I agree with Jay. You have mastered this very difficult form. Thank you or this early gift! Sending you blessings and best wishes if this is for a contest. Simply beautiful.

Vijay Pandit

Date: 12/8/2023 11:56:00 AM

How so beautifully romantic a write, Hiya. Mesmerizing vocabulary adorns your poem, as always. This form is quite difficult to execute especially because the syllable counts keep increasing rapidly. Yet, you executed flawlessly! A FAVE!!

Victor Buhagiar

Date: 12/8/2023 10:07:00 AM

Such a high wonderful poem. So pleasant to read.

Valsa George

Date: 12/8/2023 8:12:00 AM

Hiya, you are a class apart. I am carried away by the torrent of romantic images and line of thoughts that flow from you like milky beams from the crescent moon. Your choice of words is exceptional and you and Empress make a great pair. However hard I try, I cannot write a single line as you write. I am not jealous, but so happy that I can read such excellent poetry.

Silent One

Date: 12/8/2023 3:34:00 AM

You have done a very good take on this form dear poetess.. An excellent selection of words, I see a lot of similarities between you and ink and the word choices you both use...You use of metaphors is very good as always..

Ink Empress

Date: 12/8/2023 2:52:00 AM

Awwn shy starships, how creative and deep is that. They say shyness never gets you to attain what you deserve. But shyness is also a beautiful trait. I absolutely love how you’ve expressed so many deep emotions here and its amazing how the shape of this fib is a teardrop, its like you’ve created a shape fibonacci! So artistic and moving and I absolutely love the metaphors imagery and alliterations flowing throughout this despite the strict syllable count, you’ve somehow nailed it: my fave lines

Ink Empress
Date: 12/8/2023 2:54:00 AM

In this is the jasmine line how you’ve used that to describe the moon is clever and unique: i also love the lines “ I want you to weave a cherry-crescent with periwinkle dreams and let aqua-pink amulets swing with gossamer threads of lotus-life, “ awwn you deserve a lotus life really. And how beautiful is the way you’ve expressed your longing for peace and love from the beloved. I love the moon wordplay throughout and colors used here too is so soulfully ethereal. Pleasure reading this. Goodluck for sottos contest