Monoku Monday - Mar 2021

"Holy Humor" Posted 1 Mar 2021 if you need an ark to save two of each animal i Noah guy creating Eve was the first known example of splitting the Adam fastest sinner in the Bible? Moses broke 10 commandments at once first tennis player in the Bible? Joseph - he served in Pharaoh's court loudest motorcycle? Joshua's Triumph was heard throughout the land they say that before Boaz got married the guy was Ruthless [humor attribution - all humor was found online, sources unknown] "This Wonderful Workplace" Posted 8 Mar 2021 i'm not an underachiever my boss is an overexpecter if you wanted it yesterday you should have asked for it tomorrow everyone brings joy to my office some when they come, some when they go i deserve Oscars for all those times i've feigned interest in meetings just had a 4-hour meeting on improving productivity working hard has never killed a single person but why take the chance? [humor attribution - #6 by Edgar Bergen, all others found online, source unknown] "Random Brain Guano, part 2" Posted 15 Mar 2021 it's easy to buy clothing for fortune tellers they're all mediums Orion's belt is a huge waist of space (silly joke - only 3 stars) my friend fell into an upholstery machine he's recovered now so is it good or bad to own a vacuum cleaner that really sucks? when you get a run in your stocking and have no spare you're kind of hosed the only living producers of dragon milk are short legged cows [humor attribution: #1-3 found online, sources unknown; #4-6 by Edmo Snord] "Just Asking, part 2" Posted 22 Mar 2021 if nothing sticks to Teflon then how does Teflon stay stuck to the pan? why do we call them 'apartments'? shouldn't they be called 'togetherments'? somebody at the airport asked, "how do I get off a non-stop flight?" doesn't it seem rather cruel that the word "lisp" has an "s" in it? why do we call the time of day with super slow traffic 'rush hour'? what would the world be like without hypothetical situations? [humor attribution - all humor found online, sources unknown] "Steven Wright edition, part 2" Posted 29 Mar 2021 i spent yesterday trying to daydream but my mind kept wandering everywhere is within walking distance if you have enough spare time if anybody here has telekinetic powers raise my hand experience is something you don’t get until after you need it when they asked George Washington for ID did he whip out a quarter? the check-out sign said "eight items or less" so I changed my name to Les at the grocery store I saw a sign that said "pet supplies" so I did [humor attribution - all humor courtesy of Steven Wright]