Monoku 1

he forgot to hold his breath while dumping grandpa's ashes
Copyright © | Year Posted 2016

Poem

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Pigeon Tart Avatar
May 19, 2020 at 9:13 PM
Funny stuff. Life is, death ought to be too. Or is my mortal laugh track skipping...
Gentry Avatar
February 19, 2016 at 12:52 AM
My first reaction was OMG what's wrong with you? lol then I laughed... I traveled with my mom's ashes not so long ago and it was quite an experience. Clever Monoku!
Hicks Avatar
February 19, 2016 at 10:30 PM
Thanks for sharing your laughter, and I'm sorry to hear about your mother. This was a different monoku, and by reading the comments I see that people have reacted too in a multitude of different ways. Thanks for your support, my friend!
Adams Avatar
February 18, 2016 at 11:20 AM
lol...uh oh...was the wind blowing? this one actually made me giggle because i could picture it....good job :)
Hicks Avatar
February 18, 2016 at 10:21 PM
Thanks Sandra. It's whatever the reader wants to take from it ... glad you got the lighter end of this piece :)
Dietrich Avatar
February 17, 2016 at 3:14 PM
OH MY, Great monoku!!
Hicks Avatar
February 18, 2016 at 1:47 AM
Thanks Andrea! Appreciate your visits :)
Kendrick Avatar
February 17, 2016 at 2:12 PM
So now he and grandpa are really sharing the same genetic material..Enjoyed reading this one..Thanks for stopping by..The poem "The Chrysalis" was a challenge by someone to write a poem using ten words..Sara
Hicks Avatar
February 18, 2016 at 1:46 AM
Thanks for the explanation. Glad you enjoyed my poem.
George   Avatar
February 17, 2016 at 12:38 PM
I actually did that very same thing when freeing my fathers ashes on the water. He was a free spirit and this is what he wanted. They lifted like a vortex and blew away in the wind. This brought back and bitter-sweet memories and tears. Elaine
Hicks Avatar
February 18, 2016 at 1:56 AM
Thanks for stopping by and leaving your precious heartfelt comment. Life is indeed strange sometimes, and I imagine that memory sticks with you pretty strongly. It's a beautiful (yet sad) thing to be set free upon the waters.
Pinet Avatar
February 17, 2016 at 12:27 PM
The words are simplicity themselves but in context they speak volumes on the mind frame, hopes, and wit of the author. Emile.
Hicks Avatar
February 18, 2016 at 1:45 AM
You read poetry well, and understand my intentions. Thanks for your intelligent and well considered comments, Emile.
May Avatar
February 17, 2016 at 9:50 AM
You leave the reader thinking with this dark write ... nicely done
Hicks Avatar
February 18, 2016 at 1:38 AM
Thanks Joseph. It's intended to be a bit more on the suggestive side.
Callus Avatar
February 17, 2016 at 9:46 AM
And now I've got tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat! Wonder what caused that! I'm not being funny or sarcastic, Timothy...I'm just thinking of different possibilities that are crawling though my mind:) Very clever (did we say suggestive.?) // paul
Hicks Avatar
February 18, 2016 at 1:34 AM
Thank you very much Paul! I think you're discovering my alternative meaning here. I tried to write this in a way where if you look it one way it's more emotive/reflective, and in another way it's somewhat humorous (in a grim way). Glad you caught, my perceptive friend!
Trifiatis Avatar
February 17, 2016 at 7:39 AM
That is a lesson to learn, dear Timothy! You made me smile and cry at the same time! That is life's tragedy!
Hicks Avatar
February 18, 2016 at 1:32 AM
This was the exact reaction I wished to hear, Demetrios. The most poignant moments in life don't typically stick one emotion, but are often mixed!
Nance Avatar
February 17, 2016 at 7:05 AM
Doh! clever monoku Timothy
Hicks Avatar
February 18, 2016 at 1:31 AM
Thanks for the visit, Casarah!
Pennell  Avatar
February 17, 2016 at 5:12 AM
at least he didnt sneeze !
Hicks Avatar
February 18, 2016 at 1:18 AM
LOL! Good point, Stephen! That would have been even worse...
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