Mistletoe Etiquette

Christmas is traditions some last and others die some leave you feeling fuzzy others leave you asking "Why?" There's rules that must be followed And most of them we know About gifts and cards and Christmas trees and then there's mistletoe.... We all know the tradition We all know what it is You meet under the berries And then you both must kiss But, there's etiquette surrounding The dreaded mistletoe And there are things you aren't aware of And I thought you all should know.... Always kiss your Aunties Do it quick and on the cheek Their lips are full of slobber and sometimes they just reek Grandmas, get a quick kiss And ignore the sounds they make Don't hug Grannies too tightly They are brittle and might break Avoid the pervert Uncles With hands and eyes that roam They act one way at Christmas And another way at home The little kids, won't kiss you So, it's fun to give them chase Make sure there's lots of slobber So, they can wipe it off their face Make sure kissing Grandad That he has got his teeth That they're not somewhere in a glass or worse, smiling from a wreath Always kiss your Mum though Beware, Mums will always cry and they will get you going too No matter how hard you try Kiss the one you came with Let them know just how you feel That your love for them's eternal And your love for them is real Kissing is tradition and at Christmas can be great But, don't kiss all the women And forget about your date The most important rule of all If you don't want your bell rung When kissing 'neath the mistletoe DO NOT USE THE TONGUE