Missing My Mommy

They say you don’t know what you got until it’s gone. Well I am here to tell you it’s true. I never knew how much I looked to my mom for her advice. I really suppressed the feelings of love for my mother, but now that she is gone I would give anything to tell her how much I do and did love her. Just to hug her once again, to brush her mane of gold, or even to do that one more favor she may need from me. It would be worth it you know. Every now and then I can sense her presence. I hear her words, coughs, and beckoning. I can smell her and feel her beside me telling me it is ok, she is now out of pain and happier than she had been for a really long time, but I can’t help missing my mommy. She used to encourage me to have a mind of my own and not to just go along with the crowd, but to be one of a kind. Although she had a hard time telling how much she loved me or showing appreciation for the woman I had become she tried even if I didn’t see it at the time. She may not have been the most nurturing mother of all times and I must admit that she quite the selfish one, but no matter she was still my mommy. There are days when everywhere I turn I see things no matter how slight, that remind me of her. It may be a song or television show she liked. Maybe it is a flower or something of nature or it could be a sentimental item she would have liked, but it all still echoes of my mommy just the same. When in midstream of thoughts of her it is difficult to bring myself back to the reality that she is gone from this cruel place we call Earth. The only thing that truly comforts me is knowing she is not really all that far away and someday I will see her again in heaven, she will be the one talking Jesus’ and God’s ears off. As for me at this moment I am not so sad anymore even though I am missing my mommy.