Minimalist: Song of Despair

Hanging to his dwindling sanity
he haphazardly weaves a net
of confused and conflicting emotions.
Weakened by pangs of futility
the strained fine thread snaps...

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Contest: Minimalist Form
(5 unrhymed lines each with 5 words) 
Sponsor: Nette Onclaud
Placed 2nd
© 14th October 2017
Copyright © | Year Posted 2017

Poem

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Thomas Avatar
December 14, 2017 at 10:38 AM
Many of us pray our threads keep holding. Great poem.
Callus Avatar
December 14, 2017 at 10:54 AM
Thank you for reading and commenting. Regards // paul
Ashley Avatar
December 5, 2017 at 5:41 PM
Paul, a sad, desperate and sensitive portrayal of depression and/or mental illness. Your despairing imagery invokes a heartfelt response of empathy and compassion. Your last two lines are especially heartrending. Congratulations on your fine placement with your superb write. Warmest wishes.. ~Susan
Callus Avatar
December 6, 2017 at 4:39 AM
Thank you for the insightful comments, Susan. I was in close contact with a person who suffered from both depression & mental illness, so I can relate to what such people have to go through. ~ Warm regards // paul
Fleming Avatar
November 12, 2017 at 4:30 AM
Rather good this, Paul...I can imagine how a lot of unfortunate people have irretrievably slipped into that all encompassing net. My very best regards, Paul, as always. :) john
Callus Avatar
November 13, 2017 at 4:40 PM
Mental complications are hard to understand, John, and there are no easy solutions to such problems. Thank you for reading and commenting. Regards // paul
Michaels Avatar
October 28, 2017 at 5:36 AM
Perfectly encapsulated, Paul. Loved the metaphors in this one. Congrats on your High-Placed win. Regards, John.
Callus Avatar
October 28, 2017 at 1:32 PM
Many thanks, John. Glad you enjoyed it. Regards // paul
Krampe Avatar
October 25, 2017 at 9:04 PM
Great take on the prompt, Paul - congrats on your win!
Callus Avatar
October 27, 2017 at 11:08 AM
Thank you, Agnes. Have a nice weekend. Regards // paul
Dietrich Avatar
October 22, 2017 at 8:50 PM
wow, I really like how you did yours, Paul. A BIG congrats on your well deserved win
Callus Avatar
October 23, 2017 at 11:10 AM
Glad you like it, Andrea....thank you! Regards // paul
Lindley Avatar
October 22, 2017 at 2:46 PM
SUCH DEPTH AND RAW TRUTH IN SO FEW STELLAR VERSES MY FRIEND. A FAV...
Callus Avatar
October 22, 2017 at 4:37 PM
Many thanks, my friend...a pleasure to have you stopping by. Regards // paul
Allison Avatar
October 21, 2017 at 6:02 PM
Dropping back to say many congrats on your win Paul:-) hugs Jan xx
Callus Avatar
October 22, 2017 at 4:27 PM
Thank you, Jan. Pleased to have you beside me on the podium:) Hugs // paul
Roper Avatar
October 21, 2017 at 5:42 PM
Paul, congratulations on your win well done.. :) Hugs Eve ~`*
Callus Avatar
October 22, 2017 at 4:23 PM
Thank you once again, Eve....I am sure I replied to your comment yesterday, but there's no sign of it!! Hugs // paul
Onclaud Avatar
October 21, 2017 at 5:02 PM
total isolation well rendered by your dripping pen, paul... wishing you best congrats on your high-rated win with thanks for supporting this challenge...
Callus Avatar
October 21, 2017 at 5:15 PM
You are a herald of good news, Nette:) Thank you for having me on your winners' list, and for the lovely comments, but most of all for the inspiration. ~ Wishing you a lovely weekend. ~ Hugs // paul
Williams Avatar
October 17, 2017 at 1:19 AM
The strained fine thread snaps...What fine closure, in a few short lines you have described the anguish so well. Good luck in the contest, this is awesome and a fave...Maria
Callus Avatar
October 17, 2017 at 9:25 AM
Many thanks, Maria! Not all threads snap, but many do. Some people are in need of sincere help and understanding. Regards // paul
Vaso Avatar
October 15, 2017 at 7:03 PM
I liked this and sadly at times I feel is close to the truth for me.
Callus Avatar
October 16, 2017 at 7:06 AM
Hopefully you are supported by a stronger thread, Arthur!! Thank you for dropping by. Regards // paul
Rodrigues Avatar
October 15, 2017 at 4:46 PM
Great ending
Callus Avatar
October 16, 2017 at 7:04 AM
Thank you, Kim. Regards // paul
Tor Avatar
October 15, 2017 at 7:40 AM
Mental breakdown expressed cleverly Paul.
Callus Avatar
October 15, 2017 at 8:13 AM
Pleased you liked it, Michael...thank you. Best regards // paul
Bauer Avatar
October 14, 2017 at 7:05 PM
excellent! you've told a whole story in only 5 lines, paul, and i could feel the anguish very powerfully...
Callus Avatar
October 15, 2017 at 8:13 AM
Thank you, Ilene...'excellent' is more than I merit:) Regards // paul
Allison Avatar
October 14, 2017 at 5:38 PM
You portray depression/mental illness so well Paul, the final two lines are especially powerful and hard hitting:-( hugs jan xx
Callus Avatar
October 15, 2017 at 8:10 AM
Hi Jan...I was very close to someone who suffered under similar conditions...not with us anymore:( Thank you for stopping by. Hugs // paul
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