Mine

it seems so long since couples kissing, caressing, loving bothered me a bit yet now i look at them and think of you so confused, so used do i feel and not sure it’s not you who’s been used. my feelings implode and i feel and don’t feel emote and promote my lack of emotion and the word “love” comes back to haunt in this time when “break” taunts my dreams while waking hours are spent envying those i haven’t envied in so long, it seems and yet i know that envy will come easy to me whether with or without you. with or without you i lose myself and will know nothing of who i am while i am someone else’s and yet the need to be held, held tight is always here hold tight here to those arms that hold me yours which i liked to much it seems or maybe not enough, it seems and now my confusion overflows and fuses with my losses and my gains ‘til i feel the grain of this box closing in and i’m trapped in this cube without a way to escape magic tricks and lies won’t get me out this time i can’t rely on what i’ve used before and yet trust in fate is infamiliar, uncomfortable, unlikely for me but he need to believe is so deep-seated deep-rooted that i stretch my limbs begging for it to take control put me out of control though control is the one thing that keeps me sane while those around me just…aren’t. and now i lose it or it loses me in my time of need my need to believe driving me deeper into confusion fusing with emotion and promotion of envy of those couples it seems i have long forgotten yet i long to be held tight to an image i’ve yet to see and fear will fail to ever be mine