Mind Yer Manners

My long-sufferin' Mother tried to teach me the rudiments of social graces, So as not to make a fool of myself at fancy affairs and such other places. But even so, at the school prom I splattered sauce on the tux I had rented! So much fer impressing my date who thought me somewhat demented! I can still remember Mom's admonitions as if it were yesterday: "Say please, thank you and pardon me to those you meet along the way." "The napkin ain't used fer blowin' yer nose or as if washin' yer face." "Keep it short and to the point should you be asked to say the grace." "Keep yer elbows off the table, sit up straight with one hand on yer lap." "Don't hog conversation and if you've nothin' sane to say, clam yer trap." "Learn to use the silverware properly so as not to be disgraced." "Tell the hostess what a fine meal it was (tho' not necessarily to yer taste)." "Don't start eatin' 'til the hostess begins and don't guzzle too much wine." "Always help the lady on yer right to be seated before you begin to dine." "Open yer car door and other doors fer ladies and they'll appreciate that." "Rise when ladies or elders enter the room and remember to tip yer hat." "Offer yer arm to sweet old ladies and assist them to cross the street." "Tell moms their babes are cute (even if not) but be very discreet." Mom's sage advice was well taken but today it seems that it was all for naught, Since many folks ain't got no couth or respect nor behave as they ought! Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired (c) 2015 All Rights Reserved