Mercurial

Increasing my laughter eyes full of tears invisibly 
Heart shouting help 
Limiting at my ears
Can't be spoken out loud

Faded destiny 
My quest fades in the deep of away
Embellishing my pain with smile
Held contempt of my anguish 
Slicing through the bitter fruit of life 

Once I smile with parts entirely 
Sing and dance to the rhythm of joy
Where jubilant will was my toy
Friends never gone 
And family never told of my imperfections 

The past held a placard of difference 
Rendered visibly to dilute glooms into my peaceful substance 
Accelerating on high engines to overtake my particle 
Am waving to show I still love
Right at the moment it turns the curve flowing onto the streets of long gone

Now tough storms marches with father's amour 
The chains of a ravaging relation 
Keep my turns at the wrath of a mental
Exclusive of my part I whimper with fainted anger 

Should I send my zest in a mail of scenes 
Curse I it will be seen
Father hearts no more

Acquaintance encounter counters me not
Home peppers the taste of my appetite
Questions of a violation to be born here 
Mighty has his reasons
Am convinced to question not

Penurious attributes grabbed me with its claw of misery 
Detecting not the force pulling me into the nest of impoverishment 
Losing every essence 
Now am a feature of patience 

As each breaks 
It breaks me more 
Leaving joy as a challenge 
And inner peace a struggle 

Riddled with self destruct and a Bleeding life
Amplified by illness and danger
A result of something not thought of 
But felt in the engine of my emotions 

Dumb and careless 
Shabby and ugly
Naive and shy 
Foolish and cruel
Those are my names now
Never attached to my handle 
Called by those as if the birth with me

Never thought life would be stingy with joy 
Never thought destitution would be employed 
Never thought levee would hold back my tears 
Thought never that jinx would steer my mind to care worn 

Alcoholic magnet now attracts mom's appetite made of metal 
She bleeds her integrity and spits her self esteem 
Not the garage of inspiring dignity I use to know 
Whipped and stung by the tragedies of life
She loose grip of her every strike back 
Tears as a river banks at her lashes 
Her sight behold blur 
No strength of heart to hold
They flow down the shivering cheeks of hers

Life pathetic and cold 
No shield among my collects
My body waved continuously in split seconds 
Quivering to the sunny snow activated 

Words only explain a gist of my agony
My heart detain my pain not to be shown at face
The past better days are greeted by antiquity 
Can't see them even in dreams 

Does pain contain lunacy
Does this means eternity 
Case that is a test of strength 
My blood absorb my veins in decrepitude
My strength is getting scarce on the market of life
Only patience I sit on to wonder the future 
Only time cares about me now
Copyright © | Year Posted 2020


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