Men Leave

Men leave. You too will leave, that’s not an if. I’m gonna make sure of it. It will hurt; it always does. Well, at least it used to. I learned a lesson early in life. Dads disappear. They find new girlfriends. They find new children..They find new lives, And then they don’t care anymore. I learned that lesson again as a teen. Boyfriends leave too. They live too dangerously. They drive too fast. They don’t arrive…ever. I learned it again and again. Boyfriend after boyfriend. Fickle hearts with predictable results. In adulthood, the lessons continue. Husbands tune out. Lovers lose interest. Old maids get hidden in attics while pretty young things sit in the parlor. Men leave. You will leave. You don’t have to say you won’t. I don’t believe you anyway. You are just like everyone else. So save your shallow words for that naïve girl who still believes in Cinderella. I’ve seen too much already. I know how the story will end. No happy endings, just endings. Men leave. Don’t worry about me though. I’m well-protected now from assault. I built a fortress around my tender parts. It is impenetrable. No one gets in anymore. But you’re a stubborn ass, you want to try. (I want you to try). I want you to get in, sorta, but I’m scared shitless. So I test you. Repeatedly. I do stuff to see if you will actually stay. You pass one test, there’s another one following. You question: “Why do you do such stupid things?”; “What is wrong with you?”; “Why can’t you just be happy?”; “When will you be fully invested?” I don’t answer you because I don’t know the answers. I don’t know if I can let you in, even though every part of me wants you there. So I test you some more. And I keep testing to see if you will stay. This doesn’t end well for you or for me. You grow tired of the tests and walk away ... which I knew you would anyway. It was never an 'if', but at least it doesn’t hurt anymore. Men leave.