Mechanically Speaking

Today I took the car in for a simple lube and change of oil. What began as a routine day, the mechanic proceeded to spoil. I thought my pride in fine mechanical shape, of that I often crowed, But he convinced me that the heap I drove was a menace on the road! I shuddered as he pointed out the problems - I almost had a fit! "Why me, Lord?" I mused. It only has two-hundred thousand miles on it! As he chewed a straw he said, "Them tires is about to pop. Ya ain't got no brakes - ya musta drug yer feet fer to stop!" "Yer radiator leaks an' all th' hoses is as soft as mush. It's gonna need a new one, I cain't fix it with a simple flush. Th' pinions an' gears in yer transmeeshun is grindin' lots uv steel, An' yer water pump is leakin' an' startin' a horrible squeal!" "Th' transmeeshun pan is leakin' - see them puddles on my floor? An' ya got a broke hinge an' window on yer left rear door! Th' pistons an' connectin' rods is makin' a dreadful clackin', An' yer battery is almost dead since its output is really lackin'!" Now trading cars is usually a point of contention with my dear wife, But little debate convinced her that our clunker was nearly void of life, And would cost about three thousand bucks to get on the road again! (She's proud of the new Caddie and it purrs like a finely tuned violin!) Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired © All Rights Reserved