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Meal Manipulation

Letter from the Beeb Addressed to me by name Should I grasp the chance Should I strive for fame? Hello Fellow Food Mauler Come and join the Eliite Bring a clean pinnie anc Come looking clean and neat. To Great British Dinners where I really pissed off the host No matter what they asked for I served ‘em Beans on toast My entree toast and marmite With just a smear of Marge With the bread sliced in four So it wasn’t all too large. I served treacle on toast For my simple sweet A glass of iced water Made my offering complete My menu got ‘em baffled They didn’t know what to do It was only by a whisker They didn’t let me through I should have been more daring And enhanced the main course Offering choice of Dark Soy, Tomato, or Heinz brown sauce Come cooking on the Tele where If you told ‘em all it was good They’d eat fried Elephant dung Served on a bit of wormy wood

Copyright © | Year Posted 2022




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Date: 11/1/2022 6:27:00 AM
LOL. On a stay in Birmingham one year, met a man who prepared a proper English breakfast for us. Devine! Some restaurants serve what could fit in a thimble if it weren't so "pretty".
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Date: 10/31/2022 12:36:00 PM
This is hilarious! "If you told ‘em all it was good They’d eat fried Elephant dung Served on a bit of wormy wood"
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Terry Ireland
Date: 11/1/2022 12:43:00 AM
Thanks Caren - a few years back I watched a documentary about a famous London Hotel: their speciality for that night was food, can't remember what, served in boxes of hay with live ants in it, so maybe Elephant Dung isn't so out of the question.
Date: 10/31/2022 8:13:00 AM
Ha! Your last verse is perfect, Terry!
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Terry Ireland
Date: 10/31/2022 9:14:00 AM
Thanks ilene - sad thing is i think it could be true
Date: 10/31/2022 7:26:00 AM
Creative work you have penned. I have never eaten beans on toast, but I have eaten them alongside a hotdog or a hamburger. I have eaten pinto beans, dry black-eyed peas, and dry lima beans cooked at home from the dry beans bought at the store with some cornbread. Foods like that are good for us and nutritious as well. Thanks for sharing your lines. Sara
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Terry Ireland
Date: 10/31/2022 9:13:00 AM
Thanks Sara. Baked Beans on toast is one of those quick and easy snacks, tasty and filling.
Date: 10/31/2022 4:48:00 AM
Enjoyed this, Terry. Just not into the froo froo foods! Give me the old solids and plenty of them. Of course, now I'm trying to walk steps to shed some of my solid skin... Take care, and keep 'em coming!
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Terry Ireland
Date: 10/31/2022 9:11:00 AM
Thanks Jeff. Just hate the mysticism attached to food these days. One of my friends was asked to leave a certain chefs establishment for asking for salt. Apparently chef seasoned the food and that was enough.