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Meal Manipulation

Letter from the Beeb
Addressed to me by name
Should I grasp the chance
Should I strive for fame?

Hello Fellow Food Mauler
Come and join the Eliite
Bring a clean pinnie anc
Come looking clean and neat. 
To Great British Dinners where 
I really pissed off the host
No matter what they asked for
I served ‘em Beans on toast 
My entree toast and marmite
With just a smear of Marge
With the bread sliced in four 
So it wasn’t all too large.
 
I served treacle on toast
For my simple sweet
A glass of iced water
Made my offering complete 
My menu got ‘em baffled
They didn’t know what to do
It was only by a whisker
They didn’t let me through
I should have been more daring 
And enhanced the main course
Offering  choice of Dark Soy,
Tomato, or Heinz brown sauce

Come cooking on the Tele where
If you told ‘em all it was good
They’d eat fried Elephant dung
Served  on a bit of wormy wood

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Linda Alice Fowler

Date: 11/1/2022 6:27:00 AM

LOL. On a stay in Birmingham one year, met a man who prepared a proper English breakfast for us. Devine! Some restaurants serve what could fit in a thimble if it weren't so "pretty".

Caren Krutsinger

Date: 10/31/2022 12:36:00 PM

This is hilarious! "If you told ‘em all it was good They’d eat fried Elephant dung Served on a bit of wormy wood"

Terry Ireland
Date: 11/1/2022 12:43:00 AM

Thanks Caren - a few years back I watched a documentary about a famous London Hotel: their speciality for that night was food, can't remember what, served in boxes of hay with live ants in it, so maybe Elephant Dung isn't so out of the question.

Ilene Bauer

Date: 10/31/2022 8:13:00 AM

Ha! Your last verse is perfect, Terry!

Terry Ireland
Date: 10/31/2022 9:14:00 AM

Thanks ilene - sad thing is i think it could be true

Sara Kendrick

Date: 10/31/2022 7:26:00 AM

Creative work you have penned. I have never eaten beans on toast, but I have eaten them alongside a hotdog or a hamburger. I have eaten pinto beans, dry black-eyed peas, and dry lima beans cooked at home from the dry beans bought at the store with some cornbread. Foods like that are good for us and nutritious as well. Thanks for sharing your lines. Sara

Terry Ireland
Date: 10/31/2022 9:13:00 AM

Thanks Sara. Baked Beans on toast is one of those quick and easy snacks, tasty and filling.

Jeff Kyser

Date: 10/31/2022 4:48:00 AM

Enjoyed this, Terry. Just not into the froo froo foods! Give me the old solids and plenty of them. Of course, now I'm trying to walk steps to shed some of my solid skin... Take care, and keep 'em coming!

Terry Ireland
Date: 10/31/2022 9:11:00 AM

Thanks Jeff. Just hate the mysticism attached to food these days. One of my friends was asked to leave a certain chefs establishment for asking for salt. Apparently chef seasoned the food and that was enough.