Meal Manipulation

Letter from the Beeb
Addressed to me by name
Should I grasp the chance
Should I strive for fame?

Hello Fellow Food Mauler
Come and join the Eliite
Bring a clean pinnie anc
Come looking clean and neat. 
To Great British Dinners where 
I really pissed off the host
No matter what they asked for
I served ‘em Beans on toast 
My entree toast and marmite
With just a smear of Marge
With the bread sliced in four 
So it wasn’t all too large.
 
I served treacle on toast
For my simple sweet
A glass of iced water
Made my offering complete 
My menu got ‘em baffled
They didn’t know what to do
It was only by a whisker
They didn’t let me through
I should have been more daring 
And enhanced the main course
Offering  choice of Dark Soy,
Tomato, or Heinz brown sauce

Come cooking on the Tele where
If you told ‘em all it was good
They’d eat fried Elephant dung
Served  on a bit of wormy wood
Copyright © | Year Posted 2022


Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Date: 11/1/2022 6:27:00 AM
LOL. On a stay in Birmingham one year, met a man who prepared a proper English breakfast for us. Devine! Some restaurants serve what could fit in a thimble if it weren't so "pretty".
Login to Reply
Date: 10/31/2022 12:36:00 PM
This is hilarious! "If you told ‘em all it was good They’d eat fried Elephant dung Served on a bit of wormy wood"
Login to Reply
Ireland Avatar
Terry Ireland
Date: 11/1/2022 12:43:00 AM
Thanks Caren - a few years back I watched a documentary about a famous London Hotel: their speciality for that night was food, can't remember what, served in boxes of hay with live ants in it, so maybe Elephant Dung isn't so out of the question.
Date: 10/31/2022 8:13:00 AM
Ha! Your last verse is perfect, Terry!
Login to Reply
Ireland Avatar
Terry Ireland
Date: 10/31/2022 9:14:00 AM
Thanks ilene - sad thing is i think it could be true
Date: 10/31/2022 7:26:00 AM
Creative work you have penned. I have never eaten beans on toast, but I have eaten them alongside a hotdog or a hamburger. I have eaten pinto beans, dry black-eyed peas, and dry lima beans cooked at home from the dry beans bought at the store with some cornbread. Foods like that are good for us and nutritious as well. Thanks for sharing your lines. Sara
Login to Reply
Ireland Avatar
Terry Ireland
Date: 10/31/2022 9:13:00 AM
Thanks Sara. Baked Beans on toast is one of those quick and easy snacks, tasty and filling.
Date: 10/31/2022 4:48:00 AM
Enjoyed this, Terry. Just not into the froo froo foods! Give me the old solids and plenty of them. Of course, now I'm trying to walk steps to shed some of my solid skin... Take care, and keep 'em coming!
Login to Reply
Ireland Avatar
Terry Ireland
Date: 10/31/2022 9:11:00 AM
Thanks Jeff. Just hate the mysticism attached to food these days. One of my friends was asked to leave a certain chefs establishment for asking for salt. Apparently chef seasoned the food and that was enough.
Get a Premium Membership
Get more exposure for your poetry and more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Reflection on the Important Things

Member Area

My Admin
Profile and Settings
Edit My Poems
Edit My Quotes
Edit My Short Stories
Edit My Articles
My Comments Inboxes
My Comments Outboxes
Soup Mail
Poetry Contests
Contest Results/Status
Followers
Poems of Poets I Follow
Friend Builder

Soup Social

Poetry Forum
New/Upcoming Features
The Wall
Soup Facebook Page
Who is Online
Link to Us

Member Poems

Poems - Top 100 New
Poems - Top 100 All-Time
Poems - Best
Poems - by Topic
Poems - New (All)
Poems - New (PM)
Poems - New by Poet
Poems - Read
Poems - Unread

Member Poets

Poets - Best New
Poets - New
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems
Poets - Top 100 Most Poems Recent
Poets - Top 100 Community
Poets - Top 100 Contest

Famous Poems

Famous Poems - African American
Famous Poems - Best
Famous Poems - Classical
Famous Poems - English
Famous Poems - Haiku
Famous Poems - Love
Famous Poems - Short
Famous Poems - Top 100

Famous Poets

Famous Poets - Living
Famous Poets - Most Popular
Famous Poets - Top 100
Famous Poets - Best
Famous Poets - Women
Famous Poets - African American
Famous Poets - Beat
Famous Poets - Cinquain
Famous Poets - Classical
Famous Poets - English
Famous Poets - Haiku
Famous Poets - Hindi
Famous Poets - Jewish
Famous Poets - Love
Famous Poets - Metaphysical
Famous Poets - Modern
Famous Poets - Punjabi
Famous Poets - Romantic
Famous Poets - Spanish
Famous Poets - Suicidal
Famous Poets - Urdu
Famous Poets - War

Poetry Resources

Anagrams
Bible
Book Store
Character Counter
Cliché Finder
Poetry Clichés
Common Words
Copyright Information
Grammar
Grammar Checker
Homonym
Homophones
How to Write a Poem
Lyrics
Love Poem Generator
New Poetic Forms
Plagiarism Checker
Poetry Art
Publishing
Random Word Generator
Spell Checker
What is Good Poetry?
Word Counter