Me : In and Out In Short

Have you ever felt not wanting anything new, coz' the flashback of old memories gives a lot of pleasure to you, that pleasure is incomparable to what you see in front of you, The place where you once were is now filled with many like you. Accepting the present is the biggest challenge for you, Being surrounded by many is like surrounded by few, of whom you know well and many of whom you don't wanna know, Why is the apparent cloud of happiness showering depressive rain on you? And then comes the want of getting new friends, little over a lot happiness seems better than a lot sadness, You try befriending everyone around you, but why does the look of them comprise the most unfriendly hue. Still now I'm wondering what the missing part really was, Was it my beauty and personality that was the prime cause, of this unknown hostility and hatred and jealousy, Seems like I'm done with this want of making friends surely.... I drop all my expectations, even the idea of creating memories, People now call me boring and useless, but make sure that they take advantage of my innocence. I start taking stands for myself, but failure becomes the ultimate achievement, I spend nights crying and questioning life, creeping into the shadows of depression. Why do the words of people stab me so easily? Why do I feel like crying everyday and all the time? Why do I repeat my errors when I've committed them priorly? Why am I so foolish unlike a lot many? These questions ring in my head, weeping seems the only therapy, But practically it's not the solution, of how I should be living. That's when I fake my smile, hold back my tears, Pretend to be absolutely well, Step back from sharing my problems, control my agitation, Bear all the toxic people, Coz' that's all my life is meant to be, And there comes the end of this story....