I made myself believe, I was happy
but I lied.
I went form day to day and smiled,
yet, inside I cried.
My dreams faded every year,
still I had hope.
Convinced that I had a nomal life,
I found a way to cope.
Trying to fix things for everyone else,
I could do.
Caring about myself was always last,
I didn't need to.
I never realized what I gave up,
free will, hidden inside.
So afraid of hurting and disappointing,
I had to hide.
Words of anger, hostility, and blame,
caused me pain.
Fantasy broken, I don't care anymore,
I want myself again.
Copyright © Karla Null | Year Posted 2009