Tom Bell Poet Burlesque

Master Craftsman, Tom

Back a couple of years ago,
My friend Rosie bought
her daughter, a
"Ready To Assemble"
 six drawer white melamine chest

Now, of course, I was chosen
For it's assembly,
Even with fingers part frozen,
I sat on the floor,
Opened all the parts,
Oh, an easy enough chore!!

My reward a six pack of beer,
Which I kept very near,
Chuggin' as my work does progress,
I started creating one hell of a mess

Well, some three hours later,
My head now all a'buzz
I finished my appointed task,
Oh, how easy it really was!!!

Well I offficially presented 
my treasured work,
Until we all did notice,
That I was quite a jerk...

The chest tilted at a 25% angle,
A couple of cracked knobs, did jangle,
The drawers all a'skew
Gaps on one side,
The other one far more true,

A host of superfluous bonus parts,
Left over when I was done,
Is there supposed to be 2 chests?
Or just that only one

It was neigh all but impossible
To use these useless drawers,
The whole thing teethering
And, just what was the cause?

Well, it wound up on the curb,
Merely new garbage and wasted time,
Yet no one availed themselves of it,
The waste was such a crime

So if you need a handyman,
A jack of all trades, than you,
Can call on dear old tom,
For but a six pack of brew.

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