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Marry Me

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My poem was written prior to the actual contest details being put on the site - looks like the soup gremlin was at work again - the title was simply walk the walk talk the talk - I accepted this as being correct as the last summertime fun contest also had no details with it. I have withdrawn my poem from the contest as it now does not fit in with the contest rules

Flicking back her mane of auburn hair She sweeps into the room as proud as a peacock All eyes turn to admire her ravishing beauty She smiles, revealing a set of perfectly white teeth Her emerald eyes sparkle A single crystal clear tear glistens – she hastily wipes it away Gliding along the aisle she stands next to the man she loves He mouths to her I love you She stands in complete silence … The only words she utters are I DO! 02~-06~15

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Dorian Petersen Potter

Date: 6/10/2015 11:24:00 AM

Beautiful pen Jan! Very nice written piece, dear friend. I love it!A 7! Wishing you a very lovely day!In his light! God bless you:) D.

Jan Allison
Date: 6/10/2015 11:32:00 AM

Thanks so much Dorian:-) Hugs Jan xx

Irfanulla Shariff

Date: 6/5/2015 10:07:00 PM

Remarkable poem, Jan. Great ending! Thank you for your inspiring words for my poems.

Jan Allison
Date: 6/5/2015 10:12:00 PM

Thanks so much for dropping by Irfanulla:-) Hugs jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 6/4/2015 11:39:00 PM

oh ok, I just read the note above it now. well, the way people are doing their contests now, we can be inspired by their NON contests. ahah

Jan Allison
Date: 6/5/2015 2:59:00 AM

oh a non contest contest now that is an idea - submit anything on the theme you may think I am thinking of from the title lol:-) hugs jan xx

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 6/4/2015 11:37:00 PM

What inspired this sweet one, JAn. You must be feeling romantic!!

Jan Allison
Date: 6/5/2015 2:58:00 AM

I wasn't lol:-) Hugs jan xx

Funom Makama

Date: 6/4/2015 9:56:00 AM

What a marvelous read from a blessed paged built on lines constructed with the lyrics of the skies and words well supported by dynamic foamy clouds. Message well expressed! No doubt an absolute 7##.

Jan Allison
Date: 6/5/2015 2:57:00 AM

Thanks so much Funom:-) Hugs jan xx

Liam Mcdaid

Date: 6/4/2015 12:39:00 AM

truly beautiful pen jan wishing you a lovely day dear pal

Jan Allison
Date: 6/4/2015 1:44:00 AM

Thanks Lima it needs a little tweaking but I am really pleased with the overall effect:-) Hugs Jan xx

Joseph May

Date: 6/3/2015 5:44:00 PM

Beautiful write Jan...the I Do is a great lending ...best wishes

Jan Allison
Date: 6/3/2015 5:49:00 PM

Thanks Joseph I was really pleased with the poem then discovered the correct contest details were finally up and it didn't fit the form - I wont be writing a one for the contest I know my limitations and slang is not for me:-) Hugs jan xx

Jack Horne

Date: 6/3/2015 5:12:00 AM

awww, very sweet - sorry it couldn't be entered into the contest

Jan Allison
Date: 6/3/2015 7:18:00 AM

Thanks for dropping by Jack I do appreciate your visit:-) Hugs Jan xx

Constance La France

Date: 6/2/2015 7:38:00 PM

Jan, this is truly beautiful, outstanding 7 hopefully it will fit into another contest because it is a winner and thanks for visiting my poem, Bernard ..

Constance La France
Date: 6/3/2015 7:43:00 AM

It needs work only if YOU think it does, I love it just as it flowed from your pen, that is what makes it beautiful, I agree with Peter's comment, I read a lot of the old masters and their punctuation and grammar is questionable yet their poems are upheld as examples of beauty

Jan Allison
Date: 6/3/2015 2:40:00 AM

Thanks Broken Wings - it still needs a bit of work as I agree with some of Debbie's comments :-) Hugs jan xx

Alexis Y.

Date: 6/2/2015 6:08:00 PM

Just Beautiful! Jan, you penned an awesome wedding:) Alexis

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2015 6:11:00 PM

Thanks so much Alexis:-) Hugs JAN XX

Tim Ryerson

Date: 6/2/2015 3:54:00 PM

Soup Mail...

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2015 4:11:00 PM

Replied - thanks Tim:-) When I saw the 'Marry me' title I thought you were proposing lol :-) Hugs Jan xx

Tim Ryerson

Date: 6/2/2015 3:42:00 PM

I DO! I DO! (LOVE this poem) Particularly, your description of how she sweeps and glides...Just wonderful Jan! - Tim

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2015 3:47:00 PM

Thanks so much for the lovely comment Tim - so far no one has proposed to me - I thought the title may pull a few more men in to comment lol :-) Hugs Jan x

Paul Callus

Date: 6/2/2015 3:39:00 PM

A lovely poem for a special day! Like the photographer at the wedding, you caught the most salient moments of this occasion...especially the I DO!! Hugs // paul

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2015 3:45:00 PM

Thanks Paul - I will have to work on line 2 as I understand why Debbie commented as she did - I asked her to critique the poem as it was not suitable once the contest details finally appeared:-) Hugs jan xx

Charmaine Chircop

Date: 6/2/2015 3:28:00 PM

I really love the way you ended your poem, it takes my mind in two places, one is her 'I do ' ,cuz she loves him too, but that silence and just 'I do ' makes me think of someone getting hitched with non I love you back in return.. Love it.

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2015 3:31:00 PM

Thanks for the lovely comment Charma I agree with you the ending could be interpreted in different ways - even though its not suitable for the contest I am pleased I was inspired just from the walk and talk title to pen it:-) Hugs Jan xx

Debbie Guzzi

Date: 6/2/2015 2:46:00 PM

The scene is classic, I find it best not to mix metaphors having her equine-line in line 1 and bird like in line 2 was unsettling for me. As always, punctuation is necessary with capitalization, centering is very much discouraged as well. The last 4 lines are where the interest lies in her speechlessness & the single tear. Thank you for trying! BIG hugs Light & Love

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2015 3:03:00 PM

Thanks for the feedback i do appreciate your comments - am sorry it wasn't suitable for the contest now the rules are up:-) hugs jan xx

Nette Onclaud

Date: 6/2/2015 2:14:00 PM

a finely-composed piece that makes the walk beautiful in its expressive "i do" sigh, jan... huggs

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2015 2:18:00 PM

Thanks Nette I am withdrawing it from contest as originally penned it cannot be rewritten - it would spoil the simplicity of the poem - now the rules are up i know it does not fit the criteria i don't feel comfortable doing a 'slang' poem:-) Hugs Jan xx

Emile Pinet

Date: 6/2/2015 12:32:00 PM

If you have a heart you can feel this poem... you make us feel it through your words, after all poetry is the means of transposing feeling to words and you have done it so well. Emile #7

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2015 12:39:00 PM

Thanks for the lovely comment Emile - I won't be rewriting it for the contest it would totally detract from what I am trying to portray - it is the lack of words here that say so much.l :-) Hugs jan xx

Sara Kendrick

Date: 6/2/2015 11:07:00 AM

Interesting reply from the woman with auburn mane..Enjoyed reading your contest entry..Thanks for the visit by my blog..I have placed an update there if you care to read it..All went well..Sara

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2015 11:30:00 AM

I am delighted at your news Sara it must be such a relief for you all:-) thanks for commenting on my poem:-) Hugs Jan xx

Judy Konos

Date: 6/2/2015 9:35:00 AM

Lovely.....

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2015 9:47:00 AM

Thanks Judy:-) Hugs Jan xx

Kp Nunez

Date: 6/2/2015 9:32:00 AM

Beautiful. I see the influence of Debbie here. I was wondering about the theme too, Jan. This gave me an idea, however. Thanks. hugs! :-)

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2015 10:55:00 AM

Thanks Kim. I'm happy with the poem as it is and have no desire to write another:-) Hugs Jan xx

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2015 10:48:00 AM

Kim just a heads up my poem was submitted BEFORE the contest details were shown on the contest page - looks like the contest gremlin was at work as there were no details when I wrote my poem - there were 2 others who will have fallen foul to this - have mailed Debbie hope she honours our poems as penned :-) Hugs Jan xx

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2015 9:46:00 AM

Thanks Kim - just went with my muse I hope Debbie likes my take on the walk and talk:- Hugs jan xx :-)

Eileen Manassian

Date: 6/2/2015 8:54:00 AM

:) Hey you....Is that you in the poem??? ;) I think I read somewhere you have emerald eyes. Lovely....Hugs

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2015 9:08:00 AM

I wish - mine are more olive green than emerald and we didn't marry in a church lol:-) Hugs Jan xx

Ravi Sathasivam

Date: 6/2/2015 8:50:00 AM

Excellent. Elegant write with Beautiful words. Enjoyed. Tfs

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2015 9:07:00 AM

Thanks so much Ravi:-) Hugs Jan xx

Richard Jordan

Date: 6/2/2015 7:55:00 AM

Beautiful! Having given away two daughters, this brings back memories. A 7 for sure.

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2015 7:58:00 AM

Oh thanks for the vote of confidence Richard - I have withdrawn it from the contest and won't be penning another one - i don't feel comfortable with writing 'slang'-) Hugs jan xx

Casarah Nance

Date: 6/2/2015 7:41:00 AM

Awesome :)

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2015 7:57:00 AM

It was difficult to think of a theme then this came to me -I have now withdawn it from the contest - now the rules are up it is not suitable to submit:-) Hugs Jan xx

Anna Hopper

Date: 6/2/2015 7:38:00 AM

I love this elegant poem! Beautiful words! A 7!

Jan Allison
Date: 6/2/2015 7:56:00 AM

Thanks so much Anna:-) Hugs Jan xx