Monte Banner Poet Rhyme

Marching In.

Its 6:44 on the night of the arrival,
The men marched in, hunched and suicidal.
They decided the best way to go was to do this,
Bombs and hot shells came in like a tidal..
Wave, from the streets the devils destructive kiss.
All mixed in with a twist of karma hate and bile.

Helmets flew off heads to hit sand,
Bodies soon following, another innocent soul,
Blood moistened the soil of dead dried land.
Vessels pop with screams that hold no purpose or goal.
Life dripping from mouths, the howls of the damned,
Death motivates men to die where they stand.

The war didn't stop when these men died,
The answer was already being screamed ,
The answer was simple, the government had simply lied.
The whole goal wasn't really what it seemed.

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Madeleine Mclaughlin August 12, 2009 at 4:36 PM in the second line I think you need a comma after in, the emotion of this piece is what makes it so strong.

Monte Banner August 12, 2009 at 4:23 PM "Vessels pop with screams that hold no purpose or goal" I wrote that as an outside thought but i think the goal dissapeared when they did what they were told but the reasons for which they were doing it was a lie.

Sara Kendrick August 12, 2009 at 4:21 PM Interesting. Sara

Jessica Arteaga August 12, 2009 at 4:15 PM reminded me of the beginning scenes of saving private Ryan, very gruesome horrific parts, just as your would feel since it gives those images, indeed where did the goal go?