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Marching In.

Its 6:44 on the night of the arrival, The men marched in, hunched and suicidal. They decided the best way to go was to do this, Bombs and hot shells came in like a tidal.. Wave, from the streets the devils destructive kiss. All mixed in with a twist of karma hate and bile. Helmets flew off heads to hit sand, Bodies soon following, another innocent soul, Blood moistened the soil of dead dried land. Vessels pop with screams that hold no purpose or goal. Life dripping from mouths, the howls of the damned, Death motivates men to die where they stand. The war didn't stop when these men died, The answer was already being screamed , The answer was simple, the government had simply lied. The whole goal wasn't really what it seemed.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2009




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Date: 8/12/2009 4:36:00 PM
in the second line I think you need a comma after in, the emotion of this piece is what makes it so strong.
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Date: 8/12/2009 4:23:00 PM
"Vessels pop with screams that hold no purpose or goal" I wrote that as an outside thought but i think the goal dissapeared when they did what they were told but the reasons for which they were doing it was a lie.
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Date: 8/12/2009 4:21:00 PM
Interesting. Sara
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Date: 8/12/2009 4:15:00 PM
reminded me of the beginning scenes of saving private Ryan, very gruesome horrific parts, just as your would feel since it gives those images, indeed where did the goal go?
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Book: Shattered Sighs