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Making Amends With the Inner Demons

Simply calling me crazy
Would be nothing short of ignorant
And so much more than lazy
‘Cause it’s deeper than that
When my demons aren’t freely 
Beating up or running up 
A costly fee on my mind
They’ve got a special place to sleep in the back
And just when I think I’ve out-thought them
They repeatedly prove
That it was me I made a fool of 
As what I think I've fixed is shattered
And the clouds begin to gather
Making lightning bolts of pain
Followed closely by a thunder
That'll drown out even rain
And just as I begin to think 
That this storm could be a cool one
They get bored and start a hurri-
cane the way they hoola-
Hoop with my medulla
And overload my frontal lobe
Creating a reaction within
My cranium that's a
Lot like splitting a uranium atom
Feels like my brain is gaining weight
And as the load upon my shoulders
Quickly, steadily grows
Until I think my head’ll explode
And try to think of an escape
Suddenly just as fast as
It came on it passes
Like an overfed fire
That just as quickly as it catches
Burns itself into ashes
It's either burning or it's cold
No middle ground 
It's either up or it's low
I call it a calming panic
But have heard doctors call it manic
Sometimes it’s dark as any blackness
Sometimes blindingly it flashes
I’ve learned to just let it go
Don't dam the river, let it flow
And ride the wave until it crashes
Ride the line between careless 
And just barely careful enough
To not get bit by a shark
Let all the thoughts - 
The good, the bad, and the insane,
The glue as well that which rips me apart
The worst of it won't see the day
I might have to think with my head
But I still live with my heart.

Copyright © | Year Posted 2016




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Date: 2/7/2016 3:56:00 AM
John this is an epic poem.... Linda
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Book: Reflection on the Important Things