Loves My Tragedies
It never takes much for me to fall in love,
But I love love for all the reasons I hate love.
I love love because love is what holds me through the night,
But that same love may hit me in a fight.
I love love because love is my protection,
But that same love may hurt me from rejection.
I love love 'cause no two loves are the same,
But falling in love is like continuing a game—
And I just don't wanna play anymore.
I want a love that will love me and accept me,
Don't try and change me,
But that is just the type of love that will never find me.
So instead of hating love, I fear love.
I fear love more than I love love.
I have never feared expressing my love,
But I fear falling in love too deeply,
'Cause I know that’s just the type of love that will hurt me.
I have fallen in love so many times—
It always seems like a race against time.
Love never stays with me; it always leaves me.
It always finds a way to hurt me,
Whether it’s taking a boy from me,
Or taking away someone in my family.
Love’s my tragedies.
But without love… leads me to sanity.
I hate the feeling of being alone
Because I’ve spent my whole life alone.
I’ve done everything in my life on my own.
I don’t think I deserve to be alone—
But I fear what love may one day do to me.
Because love, I know, will one day hit me,
Just like Daddy hit Mommy,
Just like love hit my sister.
Love wouldn’t let them escape.
And I’ve seen the pain, the blood, and the tears…
So love has become the source of all my fears.
I never stay in love 'cause I feel the need to run from love—
But this I will never tell.
I may say I love,
But it’s not the same type of love you know of.
Because when I love, I love deeply.
But my love for love is running swiftly.
I’m getting older by the year,
And one day I will have to live with a man.
But I will not love that man—
I will fear that man.
Because if I love him, he will grow mad,
And he will one day hit me.
That’s why I fear any guy loving me—
Because love’s my tragedies.
Copyright © Tanisha Austin | Year Posted 2006
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