Love Lorn

I hate the fact that my heart is hurting over him. I’m not supposed to be going through this, but here I am. This isn’t some rom com movie whereby all will turn out well for me in the end. This is real life and nothing has ever turned out as planned for me, especially in relationships. Why did I ever agree to this in the first place knowing very well that I have to share. It feels forced and I can’t go through the same rollercoaster again. I have to make a decision, but how? My heart aches when I block him or try to ignore him. I’m always at the bitter end of the stick. I don’t even know what to say anymore. I shouldn’t be feeling this way and it sucks. I thought I had hit a jackpot, but I guess not.