Home » Poems » Eliel Vasquez » Love Is Scary

Love Is Scary

i have always wondered how you were
since first we met... you've been on my mind
imagining the moments
that we would spend ahead of time.
i was scared, fearful of what could be
knowing that the state am in is uneasy
that my head wandering circles
i didnt think i was ready.
suffering from anxiety...
running from the depression that could end me
following this path so obscure
i was afraid of the harsh reality
i have always pushed people away
thought it would be same for you
it was scary.. because i care about you
and for the first time i was sure of what i should do
you lit me up, showed me a way
although rocky i knew we would get there
and for only a moment i felt safe
controlled my anxiety and overcame the fear.
i may sometimes come off as distant
some could say even a little cold
i dont mean to be
i just wish sometimes, to be bold.
i think of you everyday
even though i dont say it daily
i wish to lay by your side every night
but am just holding on, just barely
to the sanity of which i run from
the common sense of being selfless
know that you are as perfect as they come..
and i...i... i am a complete mess
even though you say i am not
i just cant keep the words you've told me
you've said a million times, i dont listen
you said that i can be whatever i want to be
you've told me am amazing
told me am beautiful and mesmerizing
your sweet to say such incredible things
but sometimes you come off as patronizing.
why cant i believe the words you say
i want to... but inside i cant see what you see
all the beauty and splendor you gaze upon
its... its just not me.
i love you dearly and wish only the best for us
but deep inside the fear controls my heart
and in time the anxiety will hurt us
if not then depression will drive us apart.
i felt so whole around you
my heart warm to the touch
you made me feel alive again
and i have never been the person to ask for much
and although its settled now
i am still fearful for each outcome
am hoping that you keep showing me the way
i no longer wish to run!
here is where i want to be
in your heart and mind i wish to stay
and even though my words arent like yours
sometimes i find just what to say.
i love you deeply from since first we met
and have thought of nothing else but you
i can only hope that in time my love
both our feelings remain as true.

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