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Loud Gaseous Emissions

As I ascend the stairs to my waiting boudoir
I expel these loud gaseous emissions just like a car
Is it the rarefied atmosphere
More likely what I eat I fear
Must lay off the beans, it smells like an abattoir


© Jack Ellison 2015

Copyright © Jack Ellison | Year Posted 2015

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Michael Tor Date: 10/4/2015 5:47:00 PM Their was an old farmer named Bart. Who sadly had a bad heart. Dr. told him to eat beans, for a healthy new start. One day while sitting, he blew up his chickens, with an explosive loud fart! Jack not as good as yours my friend. I see John John is back lets get this party started! Login to Reply Jack Ellison Date: 10/5/2015 12:48:00 PM You're not doing too bad for a beginner, there sonny! Keep it up!!! LOL

Judy Konos Date: 10/4/2015 11:51:00 AM Is this better Jack? BREAKING NEWS: Prime Minister Stephen Harper announced today that ISIS has been heard in Canada! He placed a phone call to President Obama who advised that it was Jack Ellison on his stairs...You're a HARD MAN .....2 please Login to Reply Jack Ellison Date: 10/4/2015 12:03:00 PM Ahhh so much better!!! LOL Thought you were angry because my big barooners were threatening world peace!!! Love, Jackson xxx

Jan Allison Date: 10/3/2015 5:55:00 PM There he blowssssssssssss - ha ha ha love it jack - do drop by and see me some time:-) hugs jan xx Login to Reply Jack Ellison Date: 10/4/2015 8:16:00 AM Sounds like Mae West from the 30s... "come up and see me sometime" but my voice wasn't sexy enough! LOL Love, Bro xxx

Carol Eastman Date: 10/3/2015 11:21:00 AM Use an air freshener my friend... And go up and down the stairs til it ends... If to this you don't attend... Your back end may be your only friend... Even Lady Cathie won't want to tuck you in... Dragon is agreeing with me here... Try Febreeze... It works on all the commercials with ease... Remember when everyone hollers geezesss... Just suddenly freeze... And spray that bottle like you did the cheese!... And all will be greatly pleased... Login to Reply Jack Ellison Date: 10/4/2015 8:14:00 AM Hmmm! An air freshener... now why didn't I think of that!!! xxx

Tim Smith Date: 10/3/2015 8:23:00 AM Sound the sirens, he's gonna blow....he's sputtering and ready to let go...the smell is obscene...it's leaving a sheen...move on over for this is so long overdue Login to Reply Jack Ellison Date: 10/3/2015 9:29:00 AM Never heard of farts leaving a sheen??? LOL