Elena Carlin Poet Free verse

LOST CHILDHOOD!

I lay there defeated
I was assaulted
I was exposed
I was in pain

The pain from a private spot
I remember him dragging me
I remember him choking me
I remember him inside me 
I remember him laughing at me 

The world is still spinning
I can't say anything
I can't admit anything just happened
I can't tell anyone
I cant trust anyone again

I was 3 multiple times
I was 5  multiple times
I was 6 multiple times
I was 7 multiple times
I was 8 multiple times
i was 9 multiple times
I was 11 multiple times 
I was 13 multiple times 

It must be my fault
I must have asked for it
I must have wanted it
I must be the problem
I must be too broken 

I was innocent once 
The next day everything was taken from me
Lost my child hood
Lost my trust
Lost my virginity

It was people i should have been able to trust
They were in charge of my 
They threatened me
They scared me 
They bribed me
They made me promise not to say a thing  

That little girl died years ago
And nobody noticed
Now all they say is 
How did that sweet little girl
Turn into this horrid creature

Now all i say is 
It's okay i wouldn't choose me either 
Every thing i do is never the right thing to do
Maybe I deserve this all 
Why just why 
Why am i still here

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