Lost

Happiness is slowly leaving me taking away the essence of what I used to be The light that shone from my eyes is nearly gone The twinkle and sparkle has faded away making me feel so all alone Laughter, passion and love of life is slipped away leaving me more of a hollow shell each day Waking up to eagerly see the sun rise has gone away and left my eyes Eyes that used to look into the night sky whisper, sigh and be awed by the stars that flew by Looking others in the eye and smiling saying hello with my head held high is gone so far away from me now that I hang my head and sigh I'm becoming invisible and changing who I am hiding deeply within myself so no one will know Pam A mask I now wear to cover the real me not wanting people to see what I used to be Torment is a life I live now and I don't know why Sadness so deep the ocean feels small For my tears can fill the Heavens and they cascade like a massive waterfall I gave love so freely and deeply that I am bound by my words I said so sweetly Love was a treasure I drew from my heart gave it way at the start For me to take the words "I love you" back is saying my heart must have been wrong Tryng to put that piece of my heart back and not remembering what put it there makes me tremble with deep despair Thoughts so precious and dreams I wanted to come true has crashed so deeply and is tearing me in two How do you stitch a heart How do you make it whole again How do you recover from so much pain I hold my heart in my trembling hand staring at it and seeing it sift through my fingers like sand Hatred of only me is what I see I'm to blame and I'm filled with shame Shame to know I was so wrong to love, laugh, hope, cherish something I thought was so awesome and strong Now here I am a weak broken woman a shadow of what I used to be strong, loving, caring and most of all what made me me.