Lost

Lost inside this sea of woe, This mass that is my mind. Overlapping waves of thought; Engulfing space and time. Space I should have open; Time I should have set aside. I cannot sort through what's important; Too much Is trapped inside. Calm as it can be at times; And furious at others. My thoughts are contradicting; As they crash into each other. Within one breath- I hold a hope; A drive to see things through. But in the next I'm mortified; My nightmares may come true. Hold on in desperation; Perhaps just one more year. If I can just keep fighting; Perhaps my purpose will be clear! But what if this year passes; And it shows me like before. What if it shows me grief and pain; For I cannot bear more. "I fought this far" I tell myself; As I wind up with more plans. But somehow fall between the cracks; Alone, and with no friends. I thought it would get better; They said that they would help. But here I am alone again; The world against myself. I like to think one moment; That I'm strong, and I don't need them. But how can I mend all these wounds; When I'm the only one who sees them? Alas, I'm not a medic; Thus, I can't survive alone. And a housewife has no purpose; If she doesn't have a home. So here I am - square one again; Trying to decide. What's the point of living; If I'm not even alive.