Loss

She smiled a toothy smile with perfect sized lips and straight white teeth welcoming me, Her face perfectly symmetrical except for one brown eye shaped slightly different than the other reminding me of my cousin who I adore, Tall, fit, sturdy as my grandmother would have said, athletic, glossy dark hair pulled out of her face, a lovely smile, lovely eyes, a lovely brown face of a young mother with a dying mother, She is who my son chose, Chosen over others because even though she had the ten worst qualities, she also had the ten best. Who am I to say? But I did say because of the little one, The one who would lose a mother and gain a father almost in one fell swoop, He made a promise to the mother, He would take care of her and he did, He would love them both and he did, He would do his best, and he did, But now the beautiful family is no more, It is shattered. Hearts are broken. Lives are different, never to be the same again. I did my best too but it wasn’t enough to fill her voids. I love her in spite of it all, I still want to shelter her, protect her, advise her. Help her. Like the tribe she descended from, she fiercely goes forth, strong as a warrior, away. She is and always has been ready to fight to the death. Although I’m certain our trails will intersect again, it will be different. I will think of her. I will hope some particle of my mothering has worn off on my faraway daughter.