Lord Why Is It Hard Top Breathe Pt.1

i'm steadily gasping for the breath to breathe.thats when i realize your the one i need.only your salavation can set me free.lord please, redeem me from the life i lead.i act like im so stong.i convince myself that i'm not wrong.that i can do it on my own.and it's when i find my self alone.no friends. no family. not connected to anyone.just on my own. when i know i need you i'm drowning on dry land. i'm suffocating in a world full of air. but i'm scared to reach out to grab your hand. i ask beckonly whats you plan? why when you urge me to put it out, i take it back so quickly....is it that i'm scared to let you lead? why? when it was for me you bleed.Why can't i take that step...youre right there...in front of me...i'm blinded by the light, but still its you that i see. i've heard all that you can do...but still my feet wont move.is it that i made my self so strong, i wont take the walk to make me stronger? impossible because i've felt you when i was hurting...it was you helped me up before i fell..lord why is it so hard to breathe...is it cause of the life i lead, cause i dont share, cause i feel left out, cause of my questions? lord i'm gasping, please give me the air.the water is flling my lungs.....soons as it it gets near empty it feels up again...what am i doing wrong???