Loosing the Will

i am loosing the will to win this fight, everything i do and nothing goes right, pains in my legs and in my heart, everything i do hurts real bad, chasing a dream of someone i like, chased her to fast, that gave her a fright, why do i do things so wrong, things i touch does not turn to gold, my legs are shaking and so is my hands, no one sees this pain i have, if only they knew they will understand, why this fight is taking my hand, tablets from doctors that never end, all these meds go to my head, not thinking straight and shaking hands, the life i wanted i will never have, if i had my life over again, will i still have all these pains, being so fit when i was young, look at me now its went so wrong, all i want is to put in the ground, hate these pains that come around, morning and night, gave up on this fight, people don,t see whats going on, they say to me you must be strong, how can i do that when in so much pain, wish someone could just take it away, thinking of some ways to go, what do i say for story to be told, why am i still here as don,t seem right, i gave up on winning this fight,