Look Mama

Look mama, your daughter appears happy, but is slowly dying inside. She is suffering in silence just tryna get by. She learns to build up walls so that no one can ever see, just how badly her heart does bleed She grows accustom to her ways, sabatoging everything in her path. She subconsciously holds alot of hate and any man that comes near her seals their fate. Her true loving, sweet spirit is desperately trying to stay. But he brings along disaster and breaks her as he betrays. After this her wrath simply cannot hide. Every ounce of love and admiration feels like nothing but a lie. Look mama I'm quick to anger, and I'm not sure why. Is this how I'm supposed to be? Or is it the pain from all the days he made me cry? My image of what love should be wasn't very pleasant. Two young broken addicts who couldn't hold it together. I prayed and begged God to help you both, because what you couldn't see , was that it was hurting us the most. Look mama, I broke the cycle. Three amazing, healthy, happy babies. They will never know the pain I know, because it was them that I chose. I often wonder why you couldn't do the same, on myself I put all the blame. Now it's time for me to be free from all the past trauma that has haunted me. Mama I do forgive as that is what God would want. But forgetting is much harder for me to do.