Longest 365 Days

They, we, I, made it. One year with a little more knowledge and somewhat of a grasp over the idea that 4  became 3 and 1, some ash. It's been a whole 365 days, and you still have not come back. I believe some small part of me wanted this to be a nightmare that I could wake up from. I feel I needed to keep that small denial regarding you,  otherwise, I would not have been able to make it through. Now, the hardest part of this new reality to consume, unlike the one where you were one and I was two. How am I supposed to be one of four, without you?       Well, I didn't write to harass you, honestly just want to chat with you. Catch up, listen to you laugh. Hear about your wild times, The adventures of Kat. Something I will always miss about you, is you always tried to make people who didn't feel cool not feel so blue. You encouraged me to have friends. You always wanted me to get out there find what makes me happy and create my happiness. You reminded me that I needed to start from somewhere. You showed me to have a voice because it's all we have, and speak like I care. I swear I would give anything to hear your laugh. Sucks because we have to mourn your death 7 days before your B-earth day, and still can't process that. Like I said I didn't come to complain. I miss you, Katrina, God it still hurts to say your name. 365 days, and it still feels like the 1st day's pain. I love you so much.  I know you hear me, even though I don't always feel that way. I sometimes open your current home's door, and tell you I love you like I wished I did more before. So, today I acknowledge, and mourn one year without your unapologetic human form in solidity here. I loved you then from a distance, now I love you with all of my earthly bound existence.