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Lofty Ambition

Motorbikes and barking dogs
Are driving me to drink
With the endless din of traffic
I can no longer think

I’ll have a little nip of Gin
Perhaps a beer or two
And then I’ll close the window 
That might help me too

Perhaps I’ll take my rifle
With a telescopic sight
And find a building with a lift
Where I can sit at night

Those random noisy retards
Would swiftly think again
If metal jacket bits of lead
Were whistling towards their brain

Another little whiskey then
To keep the cold at bay
And steady trigger finger
As the targets weave and sway

I used my catapult you know
And they kept me for a year
Psychotic  Paranoia 
Induced by too much beer
I didn’t have the rifle then
That was an afterthought
T’was after several nips of rum
Because I thought I aught

It’s gotten so much quieter here
I nailed it bang to rights
It even looks quite pretty
With those small blue flashing lights

I think they’re waving up here
I can see them scurry round 
Behind their little armoured car
They’re kneeling on the ground

I hear the whiz of bullets
But my vodka dulls the sound
Perhaps I’ll have a pop or two
At the targets five floors down

I’m feeling kinda tired now
It’s hard upon my feet
And that noisy helicopter
Might disturb my good nights sleep

A small nightcap, a brandy tot
Should calm my trembling hand
It’s either that or take a shot
At the choppers rubber band

I expect I’ll get a little sleep
In Broadmoor’s padded rooms
And get out in a year or so
As recessions lay offs loom

So one more shot and then to sleep
I’ll go out like a light
So just before I take it
I’ll wish you all goodnight.

funnymemerhyme

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