Lofty Ambition

Motorbikes and barking dogs Are driving me to drink With the endless din of traffic I can no longer think I’ll have a little nip of Gin Perhaps a beer or two And then I’ll close the window That might help me too Perhaps I’ll take my rifle With a telescopic sight And find a building with a lift Where I can sit at night Those random noisy retards Would swiftly think again If metal jacket bits of lead Were whistling towards their brain Another little whiskey then To keep the cold at bay And steady trigger finger As the targets weave and sway I used my catapult you know And they kept me for a year Psychotic Paranoia Induced by too much beer I didn’t have the rifle then That was an afterthought T’was after several nips of rum Because I thought I aught It’s gotten so much quieter here I nailed it bang to rights It even looks quite pretty With those small blue flashing lights I think they’re waving up here I can see them scurry round Behind their little armoured car They’re kneeling on the ground I hear the whiz of bullets But my vodka dulls the sound Perhaps I’ll have a pop or two At the targets five floors down I’m feeling kinda tired now It’s hard upon my feet And that noisy helicopter Might disturb my good nights sleep A small nightcap, a brandy tot Should calm my trembling hand It’s either that or take a shot At the choppers rubber band I expect I’ll get a little sleep In Broadmoor’s padded rooms And get out in a year or so As recessions lay offs loom So one more shot and then to sleep I’ll go out like a light So just before I take it I’ll wish you all goodnight.