Living With Bipolar

How can I describe bipolar to you? Well I’ll let you know when I can describe it to myself too All I can say is that I often do things that I know I’ll regret I often say things that I wish others will forget I switch between reckless apathy and overwhelming misery My brain isn’t right is all the doctors can tell me That makes sense, because I often feel a tad bit crazy Trying to manage this disorder is the hardest test I’ve ever faced More so after discovering that for as much progress I make, it can all be erased I’m tired of trying to explain why I am the way I am I’m tired of the inevitable fall every time I try to take a stand I’m tired of being massively depressed and having obsessive thoughts about ending my life I’m tired of having such excessive energy, agitation, anxiety and delusions of grandeur for stretches of time, night after night I’m just tired, it feels like I’ve lived an entire lifetime in my twenty six years People tell me why don’t you just make yourself feel better, just make it go away Believe me when I say this: If I could make it stop, I would’ve done so yesterday