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Like a Rock

I carry my mother 
like a rock in my pocket 

that I just can’t seem to throw away 

It serves me 
no purpose, 
it just weighs me down 

~~~
 
When I first found it, 
when I first picked it up 
and started carrying it with me, 

I thought it so beautiful – 
I could look at it for hours 

But, like my mother, 
it never looked back at me, 
never grew warm under my loving gaze 

For the longest, I was blind to that, 
Blind to anything but the beauty, 
blind to the cold, hard, 
beyond-remote nature of the rock,
of my mother,
my stone

~~~

I carry my mother,
a thought without weight

And she’s heavier

and she’s colder

than all the stones
there are

~~~
 
By the time I recognized her 
immutable, emotional unavailability, 
I had run out of joy,
felt depleted of hope –

But I could not,
for the life of me,
stop seeking a beauty, a warmth,
inside her heart

Could not stop
wishing
that one day this stone,
my mother,
deep inside my pocket,

Might just become
its own opposite –

Change from hard to fluid,
from cold to warm

But my rock, my hard burden,
will only turn to water

When my mother
stops being
a stone

Copyright © | Year Posted 2005




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Date: 11/12/2012 11:09:00 AM
Funny feelings that revolves so many around us. So glad to hear that I am not the only one who carries a rock. Beautifully said! Congrats!
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Date: 10/18/2012 2:18:00 PM
well done.
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Date: 9/28/2012 8:35:00 AM
Very moving. It makes aware of how difficultit is to just show we love each other. Sometimes, it's just being shy and introvert... But when it comes to some harder circumstances, it's true: a stone heart is hard to change... It reminds me of the film "The Thornbirds"...Anyway, that's life; we're really in the valley of tears, keeping trying our positive thoughts. Let"s cheer up and God always gives the strength for ANYTHING, it's amazing....:)
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Date: 3/28/2011 3:22:00 PM
Congratulations on your poem being featured this week, rebecca
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Date: 3/28/2011 5:52:00 AM
Congratulations on your well deserved featured poem this week Rev. Hudson. Love, Carol
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Date: 11/30/2009 5:27:00 AM
this is truely a sad peom ,but the feeling's of it read are well said. know matter how are mother's and father's turn out to be we alway's try to fine something good in them . everyone has something good in them for that is my beliveth . very nice peom. thanks for shareing that.
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