Like a New Day
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Like a New Day
Every day is, the same...
and not.
I long to go to work.
I have lost my mind?
What a crazy statement.
I used to hate my job.
I used to long to be home.
I am there now.
I am crazy.
I am?
No, it is the world that has gone.
Crazy is just the beginning...
of the line.
The one that we passed
long ago;
in the sand,
in the dirt,
in the hard pack,
in the concrete,
the blacktop,
and our hearts.
We turned the other way.
We laughed at "churchy people".
I checked the news...
I am not the only one.
I am?
My wife is in the kitchen,
making breakfast.
She has a sweet smile on her face...
But I have seen her every visage,
this one is new.
It is different because she is scared.
She cried all night,
as I held her.
I told her it would be...
okay!
I need...
to be strong.
But...
I am?
I pass them by,
unable to confront my loved ones,
with the courage I know they need.
I walk out to the garage,
to my man cave.
I am the head of house.
It says so on my taxes.
But I am afraid.
I am unsure.
I am?
I lock the door,
as I don't want anyone...
to see...
me.
How stupid I will look.
Doubt filling the edges...
of everything,
renewed by jokes and jibes,
lifted up in unison to fit in,
my whole life,
with the crowd.
There inside,
alone,
I am?
I fall to my knees,
weak with the burden of life.
My heart beats faster, and slower.
My mind reels with the things I need to say.
The words I do not have.
What can I do?
Please...
I am?
Utterances, sounds...
fall from my mouth,
but I don't even know exactly in what order,
things made sense and then they did not.
The only truth, the anguish of my heart,
met the horrific suffering of my soul.
He...
came to me.
He...
comforted me.
He...
did not give me,
a spirit of fear.
He...
gave me,
the love of a Shepherd...
I am lost,
I am found,
"I Am" heard me call.
Ask and He will answer, not once... but every time!
Copyright © Ann Foster | Year Posted 2020
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