Like a Bad Dream

That keeps repeating over and over again
For twenty two years your face is all I have seen
did medication and therapy for all the emotional swings but nothing helped me

Because all the anger and rage is still trapped up inside of me
After seven trips to the emergency room followed by acid reflux and IBS
A year of living in an abandoned building
A herniated disk and a torn ligament 

A couple of suicide attempts but god wouldn?t take me
I tried dating other women but it was never the same
it was her smile her kiss and the way she held me tame
I have flashbacks of the way things used to be in 83

We were fresh out of high school
Teenage lovers with the world in front of us
Riding in my camaro going to the malls
I?d hold the door for her and she?d always hug me

Seemed like the perfect medicine for a sensitive guy
She was petite and sweet with a busty disposition
Always ready to satisfy my needs with oral satisfaction
We were devoted to one another there was no denying that

We talked about having children and what their names would be 
After four years of being together I took out little money to dedicate my love
Bought a diamond ring with begets then got on one knee 
We looked for halls and listened to wedding plans

But reality quickly set in as to the cost of our union
A year went by and the pressure started to build
Everyone wanted a party to celebrate our rite
so engagment was held at Columbus nights

but our relatives didn?t get a long and ruined our song
I broke up with you cause? I was so confused
you said my personality changed and I became enraged
You said I scared you and I was no longer the same

it was the phone call and background yelling that got me infused 
I could hear everyone trying to persuaded you said I wasn?t for you 
They all wanted their say and one by one they took the phone
From your mother to your sister to the new guy your were dating

Then I could hear it in your voice as you buckled under pressure
You decided to satisfied their needs instead of following your heart
I keep hearing you say to me if you love me let me go
Like an emotional game of Russian roulette

I will never forget the decision you made as we hung up the phone 
Like a wolf?s wailing cry that could be heard far and wide
Howling into the wind after losing its mate its mind filled with despair 
Its eyes filled with blood of seething pain
All I really wanted to do was lay down and die from the void deep inside

Copyright © Ron Flatow | Year Posted 2010

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