Life Now

I know, i've been gone for a long time but now i'm back. Hopefully this doesn't change your perception of me. I've been going through some rough times, practically struggling, trying to find my way and purpose in this crazy world. I don't know what keeps me going everyday when i'm just so done with everything and everyone. Sorry to sound like a total depresser but that's how i feel on a day- to- day basis. I wnt to do so much and see the world for the beauty that it is but it's just like i'm stuck into first shift mode. What am i to do? What am i to do? I hope and pray that the lord would give me a sign, but it's still a big unfocused fog in front of me. But i'm praying that i get a sign soon!